Don't Blame Me for Wasting Your Time

I MOVED!

2012-01-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

Yea, NEW BLOG!

New title! New post! New concept! New look! New layout! New, erm, link?

BUT

Same idiot.

Sorry

2011-08-12T02:45:00.000-07:00

Maybe i'm just not meant to be here.

I'm sure I can pick a thousand other people who deserve my seat much much much more than I do.

AS result was out. I passed. But passed at a super high risk. Just "cukup makan".

I failed Papa, Mummy, my sis, my bro, my grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins and friends.

I'm sorry.

Again, people tell me "it's ok, as long as you tried your best."
But, I could have tried harder.

I waste my dad's hard earned cash for tuition, and it's not cheap. Other people don't go tuition, but they can score 4A flat, and can even play all day long.

It's just not easy for me to concentrate. I have nothing to blame, except me.

Everytime I found something to blame, I tell myself, "why can others stand it, but I can't?"

I wasn't born a genius. I'm lazy. I'm not brainy. I'm easily distracted. I'm useless.

Maybe I should quit facebook, gaming and all other stuff and focus on A2 exam.

Bye bye internet.

2011-03-23T05:23:00.000-07:00

This blog is ~~DEAD~~

REVIVED!!!

Okay that was cold.

Hmmm I finally deactivated my facebook account, and I don't use my twitter account, coz it seems f*cking complicated, so the only way you can follow me now is,

walk behind me and smell my fart.

Oi jalan cepat sikit la!
Lu pondan kah?

Study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time study time chiao~

~random update~

2011-02-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

This blog is kinda dead.

Hmmmm let's see what happened when i left my blog dying by itself.

-I missed 2 years post of "Happy Anniversary BLOG!!!"
-I missed 2 years of new year resolution post ~~that i dont have any realistic ones~~
-I missed 2 years of my own birthday post, yea yea, no one cares hehe
-I missed LOTS good blogging bout funny stuff around me
-I missed LOTS of blogging bout vacations

Yea the main point is, this blog is kinda dead. Maybe i should shut it down someday.
I remembered how enthusiastic I was when i just started blogging 3 years ago.
My blog used to be my pride. People recognise me as a writer of this blog. Yea that ended when I started getting emo over some scholarship stuff and posted real and original bullshits so people stopped visiting...

Well, let's get back to my main purpose here.

An update.

Hmmmm.....

Oh kaaaay let me start with a few fail signboards i found around me...

Kan-Chee-Bye
"Eff-Pussy Laksa"

Gago means ke-poh or 鸡婆 in Bahasa Sarawak.
I have to agree with this company that kids
ARE getting more and more 鸡婆 nowadays.

Notice the cat litter sand.
Now that makes me hungry.

Ong and Lai.
Pineapple.
Ong Lai.

Once a China-made,
always a China-made.

Click on it for a better look.

Ok next.

I went to Ipoh last Deepavali, with Richard and Andy.
It's very enjoyable, especially when we're surrounded by nice food around us. Credits to Richard for not letting us spent a dime on either food, transportation and for letting us sleep over at his place : )

Here's a part of our trip hehehehehe

A FLYING DONKEY!!!

♥♥♥

Richard on the lion and me spanking it.
I think spanking it will make it move.
But it didn't work, must be spoilt already.
Tsk tsk tsk such poor maintanence.

Richard showing us that his trunk can reach the ground
when he's half kneeling.

Feeling generous, so i dropped RM50 into the wishing well.
ohmygodyoumustberetardedtobelievethat

We posed with the Pig God statue

Richard's dad turned to check on us and we quickly changed pose,

but the camera snapped already.Andy joined!!

Hmmmmmm

Richard.
Childish hmph

Visited Tan Kian...

Table tennis with Tan Kian
Visited a sex toy shop

Watched "Takers" and Richard broke a chair...

Went for buffet, and decorated a boring orange juice with seafood : )
Now it looks yummy!!

And next time, if you cant finish the food on your table at the buffet,
just follow this instructional video on
"How to Clear Food on a Steamboat Buffet"

Well, i guess that's all. Sleep lar, good night~

Life.

2011-01-15T21:54:00.000-08:00

My life is so messed up now.
Let's see.
-I'm the guy with the worst result.
-I'm the guy every jerk in JPA-MSU target to voice out their personal problems.
-I'm the "middle-man" of two quarreling jerks.
-I'm a fucktard who is not fit in this community.

There's times when I think quit living seems to be the greatest solution.

There's times when I think just killing someone would be the greatest solution.

There's times when I think taking drugs or whatsoever would be the best.

There's times when I think just simply bashing up those retards mocking me would be the greatest thing to do.

There's times when I say "I pray that you'll get involved in car accident" and i really mean it.

There's times when I smile at your pathetic jokes and smile but then I go to a corner somewhere then I would tremble with anger, BUT I still face your jokes everyday, with a smiling face.

There's times when I get really really heartbroken when you call me "loser" indirectly.
Oh yah, you're my lecturer by the way.

There's times when I go for consultation and counselings, but it turns out that YOU gave me so much more misery and you think you're helping by doing so.

There's times when you keep pointing me out in class like I can't do anything at all by myself and I need someone's help my whole life.

There's times when I raise my fist half way in the air already when you sarcastically clap your hand or rejoice whenever I solve a maths problem right or answer some quiz right.

There's times when I hope you realise how seriously I mean it when I show you my middle finger.

There's times I weep alone before I sleep, thinking about my life as the only normal-guy in this community of geniuses.

But there's still reasons I still continue to live on.
God, Family and You. That's all.

From today onward, I'll only live for God, my family, and you.
Nothing else.

And when I say FUCK MY LIFE, i mean it.

By the way, this is not a facebook status because I only want those closer to me to see this.

Semester 1, OVER.

2010-11-27T22:24:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since i last updated my blog, and now i get readers bugging me to update. Oh yah, by the way,

I'M IN KUCHING!!!
*kisses house wall*

I'm currently back in Kuching for my Semester 1 holidays. Honestly, Shah Alam sucks, but I've been spending great time back there. There's been much complain about MSU, but if they ask me, i'll say MSU is kinda new and it's been improving A LOT since they day i first reached MSU.

Ok now, for some memorable things/activities that has been going on for the Semester 1.

I.) Learn how to dunk, kinda.

I mean, at least i tried, right?

By the way, if you're THAT un-observant, I was dunking on a netball loop.

II.) Sleep.

This is what MSU JPA scholars like to do best. Some can really earn professional income by sleeping. I wonder where else in the world i can find people with pro-er sleep poses.

Here's some sleep poses i identified...
*sorry, i posted some before. so...don't be surprise if they're repeated.

1.Oh-Em-Gee-I-Broke-My-Neck Pose

Mr Jayson

2. MSU-Table-Is-Better-Than-My-Bed Pose

Apparently, it's true. I tried it once, friggin nice wei!
Ok ok, maybe more than once.

3. Jimmy-Can-Mr-Hairy-Leg-Nap-On-Your-Bed Pose

4. OMG-Your-Feet-Smells-Good Pose

5. Hehehe-I-Always-Take-Pic-Of-Other-People-But-Now-People-Take-My-Pic Pose

Yes, AB you can always thank me later.

6. Tidur-Gaya-Perverted-Stare Pose

7. I'm-Trying-My-Best-To-Reach-My-Armpit Pose

8. Tidur-Jurus-Sang-Pengemis Pose

9. Tidur-Style-Kerusi-Keras-KTM Pose

and

10. Sleeping-Like-JIMMY Pose!

Oh yah! I took a video of some models sleeping too!! Check it out.

The Untold Rules about Sleeping in MSU
-The library sofa is ALWAYS the best for sleeping
- Do NOT sleep at the toilet bowl.
- Bring some tissue paper with you ALL THE TIME. In case ~~girls pass by and~~ you drool when you sleep.
- Physics Lab is ALWAYS a good time to sleep.
- Night time at the hostel is for studying.
- The MSU bus is MADE for us to sleep in.

III.) Gaming.

We play FIFA, DotA, Need For Speed and just recently, Starcraft.

Actually, i stopped playing DotA already. But my housemates are still into it, so i managed to get a few snap of their everyday DotA life.

Air-conditioner + Being Half Naked
=
Wrap Yourself Up with Blanket + Play DotA

And we play FIFA~
Here's winning and losing scene of Jayson. Spot the difference.

IV.) Practise Perverted Faces.

I think I mastered it. All thanks to Mr Goh J.Shen.YEA!
I MADE IT!!
"Sarawakian-in-Shah-Alam-Style Perverted Face"

V.) Watch TV

Eventually someone didn't get to watch Power Rangers in Shah Alam so he brought his very own Power Ranger pillow case to cure his misery of months without Power Ranger.

VI.) Attend Lecture, Lab, Malaysian Studies and Lectures. Oh yah, i forgot Lab. We also attend lots of Lecture.

We have to wake up EARLY in the morning to attend class and something we dont have enough time to bath or what. Yah, i know, we kinda stink.

But the main thing is our hair.

Define "bad hair day".
Defined.

VII.) Lab Fun~Playing with plasticines...

Nice arse :)Stop staring. It's rude.

Anyone wants me to remove me pixel HEHEHEHEHE

Well, Fiona and the gang inspired this!!!

VIII.) Birthdays!!!

There's Andy's, Ric's, YeeMin's, Fiona's bla bla bla....

And the best one is still Andy's bday!! We went to Jogoya Restaurant at Bukit Bintang,

I MISS THAT PLACE
*emo*

We brought across the BUSY road.

We made the Sibu-an EAT

And they made the Kuchingite use that stupid machine
that don't want to sell their 100+.
It's me by the way.

I'm from Kuching, if you haven't notice.
Like Kenny Sia
*nose aim high high*

Oh no no no no, that's not all. I just ran out of ideas and i cant really recall much of our activities.

My next post will be bout my Ipoh trip.
Oh yah by the way, I LOVE IPOH : )

and KUCHING : )

What Made Shah Alam Worth My 3 Months

2010-09-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm currently blogging from Kuching. It's my Mid Sem holidays, and i'll be spending a week in Kuching. So, i'll be in Kuching from 10th till 17th, then off to Shah Alam again.

Fast, isn't it? Just a few blink and 3 months is over.

Life? Kinda stressful at times, thinking of how far apart is MY current education standard compared to my friends and roommate's standard. And how some of them got boastful at times, where I force myself to giggle along, although deep down it hurts, A LOT.

But that's nothing actually, because that's the main reason now I play DotA only once a week.

DotA ain't really helping in managing my stress. Thank GOD I still have good friends who are always there to console me **you know who you are, THANKS~**

Out of all the time I spent in MSU Shah Alam, I met GREAT friends.

Group photo during "Mummy's" birthday

Please give me a moment to introduce them one by one.

I'll introduce the girls first, because I gentleman mah, takkan lah want bagi muka to you guys.
By the way, sorry that i grab photo from your facebook accounts...

Ok, from top right to left...

Tuen Tze Quan
- **erm, I can't lie, so here goes** Talkative
- Scary smashes, I mean in badminton lar.
- Super social
- My 1st impression bout her, "OMG IS THAT RACHEL RURAN LEONG!?"

Fiona Tan
- another fun person
- Crumpler fan~ LONG LIVE CRUMPLER, YEAH!
- My 1st impression bout her, "Hmmm... ok ok... "

Yeow Shiao Ling
- Haha she's very fun too
- I think she's in a relationship with coughcoughcoughVINCENTcoughcoughcough
- My 1st impression bout her, "Huh? Another new girl..."

Yee Min
- So-called "Mummy"
- She doesn't do much in front of everyone, but I know that she's also very active among the girls~
- My 1st impression bout her, "this looks like an interesting person to know..."

Jane Tan
- HAHAHA even The Joker don't smile and giggle that much!
- Jane, try the Smile eraser, **click here**
- Someone from my room always imitate her smile LOL
- 1st impression, "you're TALL"

Yen Jing
- ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahha
- Another Vanilla Twilight fan, YEAH~
- Actually if I don't get to know you, I would be screaming from House 9 the whole time for the past week during our Mid Sem examination.
- Worth every cent of my credit =)
- Can't stop smiling when I see your text
- Keep sending wrong text/messages to me HAHAHAHAHA

Wan Xin
- erm, spelling correct kah?
- Yea, she's quiet at times.
- Seems like a very intelligent person, yeah, I think it's true.
- She seems happy all the time hahahaha

Hsiang Ling
- Erm, Lance's "sibling"?
- I can tell that's she's very helpful
- Doesn't want to help me and Richard finish the Garlic Bread at Pizza Hut =(

Okaaaay now for the guys. Erm some of the guys aren't in the previous photo, so here's one with most of the guys

Richard's B'day at McD

Ok, lets start from the guy from the right.

Nelson Tio
- Erm, I threw away your bread. And nasi lemak. And a few other things that would rot badly if no one took care of it during Mid Sem break.
- Talks kinda loud, I mean, KINDA LOUD
- Anime fan
- Tanker Nose, he can stand the stench of people who haven't bath ALL DAY LONG
- I swear, there's fungus growing at that cup of noodle you left at the sink.

Tan Kian
- ***coughYOUcoughBATHcoughALREADYcough***
- I don't likes you
- Bragger, to the limit
- Almost, i mean, ALMOST bash him up
- But since you help me with my maths and bio sometimes, I can tolerate you.
- OMG I'm soooo not going Manipal with you!
- Yes, there's also fungus growing at your cup noodle that you left at the sink
- POKEMON-ER FOR LIFE
- Almost a genius. He can memorize EVERYTHING!

erm, ME?

Vincent Tay
- Ex-Bboy
- Chemistry Pro Kia
- Rich dude loh....
- Always laughing and smiling too LOL

Ng Sau Chyun
- Ng Sweep Skirt (Pronounce in Mandarin, yeesssss that how you read it in Mandarin)
- House 9 Leader
- Don't know how to wash toilet
- JPA DotA Clan Clan Lord
- Tan Kian's No. 2 challenger
- ~~Watch porn~~

Richard ~~Hor~~ ~~Whore~~ ~~Horny Hon~~ Ho Yik Hon
- Another one of Tan Kian's challenger
- Pro make careless mistake in Mechanics
- Organized JPA DotA Clan
- DotA freak, sigh

From bottom right,

Andy Tiong
- Sarawakian, from Sibu. YEAAAAAHHHH ~~SARAVANESAN~~ SARAWAKIAN!!!!
- Maths pro kia
- I WANT YOUR MACBOOK PRO =(
- Can endure intense bully, by Prada and ~~Gucci~~ Kugan.

~~Gucci~~ Kuga incomplete without Prada

Jayson Chong
- Leng Zai of House 9
- PURE Genius ~~but handwriting like shit~~
- Can PERFECTLY give explaination to facts you cant understand
- Feeling the pressure when he does maths beside you

Goh Jia Shen
- Pervert Face
- Future serial rapist LOL
- ~~Caused the stinking smell in House 9 due to excessive discharge of cum~~
- Anak murid Dato' Wira

Here's some FUN times we had together...

"The Cake Slap" on Richard
~~I wish I'm the one who did that~~

**wait for it to load, it'll take a while**

Here's a clip where miraculously, Jimmy Ratan, IC Number 9207**-13-5**3,
is STUDYING.

This is where I got locked inside of that effin' door and Helmi came to the rescue.

Notice that Sau Chyun doesn't care that i was locked in
and he was still chatting with his gf on his phone.

Ok, i think that's all for now. I'll do another post again, comparing Kuching and Shah Alam.

LIFE, in MSU Shah Alam

2010-08-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

AN UPDATE FINALLY~

Well, now everyone knows that i stupidly quit University Teknologi Petronas(UTP) sponsorship to join JPA's sponsorship for Medicine Twinning Program in India.

Regrets fill everywhere in my heart, but i'm still grateful that i'm under sponsorship for tertiary education.

This post is suppose to be something FUN-NEH. So, let it be FUN-NEH!

So yeah, i'm currently studying at MSU.

Never heard of it?

You just need to know MSU in not really the university of choice.

MSU is a partner university with PTPL, and MSU built a new block in Shah Alam. It's still under construction, so don't expect the best.

Till today, this is the first time i've been to a unversity with NO WiFi(not yet i hope), NO GYM and A CAR PARK UNDER AN OVERHEAD BRIDGE.

According to MSU's website,

Click on image to enlarge.

Guess what, its still under construction. So the website is to updated. TOO UPDATED.

Ok let me shut about MSU already. Now about Delta Hotel, JPA and MARA student's hostel.

Here's my room, shared with a Chee Kian from Klang.

One double bed, 2 closet. Shared.
Back at UTP i get 2 closet and 1 double bed FOR MYSELF.

The room is half my UTP room's size too.

Our room's rubbish bin.
NICE right?

That's what happens you didn't kidnap the UTP cleaner when u leave UTP.
I remembered how nicely that UTP cleaner empty and replaced our rubbish bin with new plastic bags EVERY MORNING.

But....

You cant find pubic hair openly in UTP. Here, it's EVERYWHERE.
Why?
Cambridge A-Levels stress mah, hair fall loh.

STOP SAYING THAT I SHOULD STOP COMPLAINING AND BE GRATEFUL THAT I'M UNDER SPONSORSHIP.

IMAGINE THE STRESS I FACE FOR THAT I'M TAKING A COURSE THAT IS NOT MY CHOICE AT ALL AND HAVING TO FEAR THAT I'LL BE SPENDING MY WHOLE LIFE STUDYING, STUDYING AND STUDYING.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THE SAYING,

"DOCTORS HAVE NO LIFE."

So, don't you ever say that i'm lucky. Coz this is a curse.

ok back to the cheerful part of being at Shah Alam. There is a cheerful part afterall.

People here are great.

They gave me two big "O" as men.

Some force me to suck them in a RapidKL bus.
**JOKE**

Some enjoy making retarded faces.

Some are gay.

Some like to watch porn.

Some sleep like pros.
*ps i sleep like that too, EVERY Malaysian Studies class.

Some spam my facebook wall.

Well, yeah. MSU aren't so bad afterall. I'll learn to enjoy myself.

so,

CHAW~!

2010-07-31T06:26:00.000-07:00

This Blog Ain't Dead.

It's just, erm, not so alive.

I'll be blogging again once I finish my Mechanics 1 exercises and once I finally found the P1 Wimax office where I'll be applying for a WiFi line.

I miss those days...

2010-06-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

I miss those days when Jordan sleeps and we drew all sorts of love notes on his elbow. Eg, I'm HAWT.

I miss those days when we keep bugging Dickson to talk. We succeeded, then we tried to make him stop talking. We failed.

I miss those days when we ask Lai to do that hand-acrobat that freaks us out.

I miss those days when we called Peh silly and mean names till he get so mad he stopped talking to us. ~~Panda Panda Panda Panda Panda Panda Panda Panda~~

I miss those days when Isaac forced me to bring my guitar to school so he could annoy the teacher with his tunes. Mr Ah-Wong: "Later the guitar will hilang ah!"

I miss those days when we asked Shazwan to translate English sentences to Japanese. I only remember "Kuro-buta", which means ~~Sylvia~~ black pig.

I miss those days when Liew make amusing jokes about governments around the world.

I miss those days when the girls get sooooooo amazed when Ong smile in a photo. "Seeee!!! Ong smiled!!!"

I miss those days when Naomi asked Mr Stephen questions that he can't answer.

I miss those days when we talked about "it's the end of the world" if Gabriel got 2nd place in class.

I miss those days when Gordon says things i own are given by the government. "Government give one."

I miss those days when Shane say "Your dad never teach you?". Mr Lee from Sri Sarjana taught him that, i guess.

I miss those days when Chin Wui rocks the chair and turns plastic chairs into rubber chairs.

I miss those days when Mr Stephen gives that "not you again" face when Kelly raise her hand for a question.

I miss those days when me and Wee Ch'ng sneak out of classes to go take some photo or just to annoy the Bio teacher.

I miss those days when Eugene sleeps and we imitate his sleeping 'style'. **don't bother thinking which Eugene I mean**

I miss those days when Shirlene makes hilarious poses in photos.

I miss those days when Rachel was so proud of dressing up as a ~~playboy~~ bunny during the Easter Day presentation.

I miss those days when Hannah always smile and giggle in class no matter what happens.

I miss those days when Rebekah argue with Mdm Teo about English grammar stuff. Me no hearing so make me no understanding.

I miss those days when Chai Yun scream soooo loud when she sees an insect.

I miss those days when Sylvia falls asleep in EVERY Bahasa Malaysia class.

I miss those days when Wendy tried to imitate that pondan Miss Kumar.

I miss 5 Alpha **not the teacher la, except Mr Stephen and Mdm Angie**.

**paiseh, i can't mention everyone here since i'm not really close to the rest of you so i don't remember much about you.

BAD decision maker = Jimmy

2010-06-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

"With utmost regret we inform you that we are unable to consider your request for the continuation of PETRONAS sponsorship.

It is our hope that you will not be further disheartened and we wish you all the best in yourfuture undertakings."

Haiz, looks like Dr Jimmy Ratan is coming.

A good advice for those having their SPM this year,

next time, when you get offers from lots of sponsors and scholarship bodies...

ACCEPT PETRONAS SPONSOR ONLY!!!

**if you're that lucky to get it lar**
**i mean, i was, but i was stupid to the limit to withdraw**

Naruto Shippuuden Sex Scene

2010-06-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was watching Naruto Shippuuden episode 163 when I bumped into this really interesting thing.

It's kinda like a porn version LOLOLOLOL

Before anything, let me introduce some characters that will be used and described in this post.

Animal Path Pain.
Female.

Asura Path Pain.
Robotic Male.
**LoL that sounds like a human dildo robot**

ok

Scene 1, The Attempt of Pain-Chakra Style Gang Bang.

Asura Path holds Animal Path hip like,
erm,
preparing for some doggie style?

Scene 2, Doggie Style Begins.

Wahhhhh

"This is my justice." boh...

By the way, those marks near her chest, not nipples ok.

Go get me a guy/girl with nipple located bellow her neck then come ask me for money.

Scene 3, Climax = Ejaculation.

FLYYYYY AHHHHH!!!!!

High till like that.
Can fly one woh, that Asura Path sure is on some medication.

Yeah that's all.

But i think missed out someone here.

Preta Path Pain, why the long face?

Ohhh sry, you not a part of the show.

Get back to your job, cameraman.

Why Do I Feel Bad for Leaving UTP

2010-05-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, Petronas offered me an education sponsor at UTP in Chemical Engineering.

Yes, i was indeed overjoyed with the offer. It was a dream come through to be accepted as a a apart of South East Asia's best engineering school.

Everything started very well with me and mummy leaving Kuching for UTP at Tronoh, Perak.

After spending a few memorable day in UTP, JPA offered me a scholarship to continue my studies in Medicine at MSU, then I will be doing the twinning program in Manipal Medical College, India.

St Peter's Gate.

UTP is a great place to study, i'm writting this post to cure my UTP-sickness and get to the point that i'm regretting for leaving UTP.

UTP is so huge, Swinburne also kalah **this is written in purpose to kek Isaac**, apatah lagi any other local university or college.

Upon reaching UTP, i registered myself then got to my Village, which is Village 6. Village 6 was not very good, since it's the old village. However its very spacious and cooling compared to the other villages. There' no LAN, WiFi keep disconnecting, bad toilet, BUT the Common Room is built with air-conditioner and Astro cable TV.

NAISE.

**I may continue crapping bout it, but it'll make this blog even more lame, so i'll just skip to more important stuff.**

Ok back to the point.

I'm roommates with Kenric Chai, who was previously classmates with me in Primary 4. He craps more pro than me, but he also fart during his sleep.

It's compulsory to join the Minggu Aluan Siswa, MAS, during the 1st week as a UTP freshie. MAS is tough, but fun. The facilitators are great in acting to be angry, furious, sad and many more other expressions.

During MAS, we're exposed with different cultures of University life. They gave us assignments that are impossible to complete, like getting 76 facilitators signature by one night and memorize their name and their post in the MAS. NOBODY completed the task.

During MAS, we were also exposed with Head of Departments of the education group. We met great professors, among them is Dr Balbir Singh. He's is a funny guy. My favourite quote from him,

"Malaysian always say, 'Think out of the box'. But I like put myself in a different way, so I say 'Why put yourself in the box in the first place?"

Nice one, Dr Balbir.

UTP and Perak both taught me great things, among them are...

1. Mixing well with strangers.

Right after reaching UTP, i made friends with Melwyn and Raymond. After a few days, i made friends with Jimmy Teow, Lester, Jaycy, Aaron and a few more others.

2. I mastered the art of Silent Farting.

No joke.
During MAS they serve all kinds of spicy food that make Hydrochloric Acid juggle around in your stomach and force you to let out gas anytime with little time for you to escape large groups of people.
What to do? FART SILENTLY LAH.

I here apologies to all MAS facies and freshies for my uncontrolled anus which let of gas silently, you can blame me for those smelly moments.

However i would also like to say, "Damnit, I am born to do this."

Obviously, Kenric didn't master this technic as i still hear bass sounds when he sleep.

3. I mastered the art of Asshole-Being.

Being roommates with Kenric really did helped me in this. We made sick jokes like asking each other to fuck old grannies and calling the facilitators gay or by their physical appearance.

Kenric also taught me to be fierce when the facilitator is fierce. True enough, it work when Kenric demanded about a thing by giving the-particular-facilitator that fierce look.

Kenric also taught me how to look cute and act like a nerd in a porn movie. Here's an image of it.

HEHEHEHEHE i'm mean.

4. Being strong while staying somewhere far from home.

Seriously, i wasn't homesick. But i really miss Kuching. The nearest town from UTP is Ipoh, and i don't know Ipoh like i know Kuching. Food in Ipoh is also damn expensive.

For example, Bak Kut Teh in Kuching cost around RM6 per person. In Ipoh it cost around RM8. Haiz....

I wonder how Sis survive with RM500 only per month.

5. I learnt some tips from surviving in Ipoh.

In Kuching, you can call everyone "wei!" or "hoi!". But in Ipoh, automatic your name become "Leng Zai" or "Leng Lui".

Don't know why lar, maybe Ipoh goverment made it compulsory to put that name in their birth cert.

How did i found out? Let me tell you...

I was having dinner at a Ipoh Taugeh Chicken Rice restaurant when this old woman came to take our order. She layan me first, she said in Cantonese "Leng zai, lei yam meh ah?" (handsome guy, watcha wanna drink?). Then i order loh. Damn happy that time, got ppl call me Leng Zai woh, not bad hoh? Must be my new look with my new spectacles **like peter parker**

Wait... Peter Parker is not hot, right?

Anyways, about that Granny Waitress thing, she then asked my friend, who wasn't as "lookable" as me LOL, "Leng Zai, lei yam meh ah?"

Cibai Granny.

6. I also learn that Nokia 5800 XpressMusic camera is GOOOOOOD!

Nuf said.

I have some idea for my next post, so let me collect as much as i can then post it up ASAP.

Sumpah.... Tak Tipu...

BYE.

2010-05-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go.

I know, my last entry in Kuching but i do "copy and paste" for it.

Yes, i'm leaving Kuching for UTP, Perak.

A person once say to me, "Do you choose to be loved, or do you choose to love?"

I choose to love.

Therefore, I'll miss you.

**post ends**

The Evolution of Shapes of Penises

2010-04-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Years ago, human have HUGE and LONG penis.

Now, human have SMALL and SHORT penis.

NO LAH

That's not what i'm about to talk about in this post.

In this post, i just wanna share a couple of "symbols" used by chatters around the word to express their feeling by showing their penis.

Not stripping, but just showing their penis, in their own unique way.

This is not unique.
Everyone done that already.
**not me**

What i'm talking about are symbols type out on your keyboard by using alphabets and punctuations.

Let me show you the earliest one.

1st Generation.

The "o zero o".

Frequently used by:
No. 1 kchwildkidbullshit Reader **you know who**.
Dickson Wong.
Jimmy Ratan.

2nd Generation.

The "Zero"

Used to describe a kiasu person with no balls.
Notice the "o" at the sides disappeared.

Only used once, by:
Dickson Wong,
during a DotA match where he is accused of maphacking.

3rd Generation.

The "Em Ell Em"
Looks like a cacated person with 4 testicles and a thin-erected penis.

Introduced to me by:
No 1 kchwildkidbullshit Reader.

Frequently used by:
The same 3 person mentioned in 1st Generation.

4th Generation.

The "Equal Equal Equal Dee".
Looks like a perfected penis chop into pieces.

Introduced by Richard Bong,
after he noticed this from a foreign DotA match.

5th Generation.

The "Eight Equal Equal Equal Dee".
A perfected penis with balls.

MY CREATION.

teehee!

Last but not least.

The 6th Generation...

The most popular

"FUCK YOU!"

Depressed.

2010-04-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

There's always a point at your life where you make big decisions.

Well, mine is not as big. But its still a decision.

Nikon D90.

You're the biggest dream i had.
I'll never forget you, but I'll try my best to.

Now, i would let you go.

Run free, away from my mind.

Leave my mind.

Now.

Forever.

And there's always a point in your life where you may start wondering, "I should be dead now." or "Nobody wants me alive." or "Nobody will notice if I'm alive or dead."

Guess what? I'm going through that.

And the only reason I'm still alive is because committing suicide is a sin, and I'll burn.

ps, i wont be posting anything humorous these days, I need time to chill. Anyone wanna catch a beer with me? Drop me an SMS.

Promises

2010-04-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

"If you get straight A for SPM, i'll get you one of those."

I remember every bit of that moment where Dad promised to get me a DSLR if i get straight A for SPM. He told me that right outside Copal Digital Wisma Saberkas after me, Dad and Mom checked out Canon EOS 500D. It was during the Form 4 2008 year-end holidays. That time, the camera was priced at RM3299. I was overjoyed.

Straight A for SPM? Maybe it sound easy for some of you. But for me, it wasn't. I'm not a studious person and my results are good once in a blue moon.

Dad also seldom promise stuff if i get good result. Only for public exams, he'll give me some cash if i get good result.

Cash? What significant can it do?

If i promise my girlfriend to go Sushi King and have a BIG dinner, but i didn't fulfill the promise. Instead, i gave her LOTS and LOTS of cash, can everything be solved this way?

CAN IT?

After Dad made the promise to me, I got really excited. I took out a poster of Canon EOS 500D and pasted it beside my bed. I think you can really imagine how excited i was about it.

I've always wanted to be a proud owner of a DSLR. Everything went even worse when i enrolled as the Head of Photography for the school magazine. I wanted to know how it felt having people say "Wow, nice shot!". Everytime i see people holding DSLRs, my mind itch for me to grab it from them. So, each time i have this feeling, i thought about my SPM.

SPM didn't came easy too. For the last 2 months before the exam, i burned midnight oil and did lots and lots of exercises. I quit my co-curricular activities and i stop iron pumping.

Every single day, i tell myself,

"What if i don't get good result?"

"I must own a DSLR."

Time flew, and i managed straight A in my SPM. Then i felt in love with Nikon D90, which was priced at RM4688 at that time. I got a great discount and i can get the great camera for RM3980. Canon EOS 500D went through some competition and the price dropped to RM2899.

Dad then said he'll only give me RM3000 to get the camera of my choice. And at the same time , he gave me cold treatment just because he wanted me to take study Medicine under JPA sponsorship. I can't take it any longer, so i agreed to try applying for medicine course, and Mom agreed to give me another RM1000 for me to get my Nikon D90.

Last month, Dad gave me RM2000 cash in advance for the camera. But i gave it back because i'm not good at handling cash. Then he promised to give me RM3000 23 April, which is tomorrow.

Last week, D90 price dropped to RM3688. Its the perfect moment for me to get it. So an hour ago, i aske Dad, "Dad, when can i get my camera?'

Then he started to talk about how hard earning money was, and how hard saving it up was, how low his and Mom's pay is. He even told me about my future studies and how is he and Mom going to spend for it. He questioned me about how a DSLR will benefit me in my life as a student. He asked me how many university students i know that own a camera up to this price.

The worse thing he said is, "If you don't care about Mom and me, then i'll bank in RM3000 into your bank account tomorrow. You go buy the camera yourself."

I got teary for the first time all these years.

Dad told me he will still bank in the money, but he wants me think carefully should or should i not buy the camera.

Of course i care about Mom and Dad. But when i heard Dad say that, i don't feel i belong anymore.

Dad, you promised me this. Next time, if you don't want to get me something, don't make fake promises to get me one. Yes, you gave me the money, but don't talk to me as if i'm not your son.

I don't your sir name anymore. I guess that's why you don't talk to Sis like that.

A-M-P-U-T

2010-04-19T23:42:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! Welcome to Mr Jimmy's English-translated BM Sarawak class!!

So, the word of the day is......

A-M-P-U-T

Okay, now spell it with me.

A-M-P-U-T, amput

In English, it means....

F-U-C-K, fuck

OK OK OK, back to reality.

Someone was horny enough to go search "maksud amput" and got linked to my blog. LOL

Here's some prove.

It's a filler post. So scram if you don't like it.

Petronas EduQuest Camp (EduCamp Petronas)

2010-04-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

Yeah, i was short-listed for a place in Petronas EduQuest Camp organized by ~~Shell~~ Petronas to select and further short-list post-SPM students to be sponsored under Petronas Education Sponsorship Unit to further their studies oversea or at Universiti Teknologi Petronas (UTP).

Sis is studying their, so i hope i can get a place there too so dad maybe get a car for us.

LOL.

Okay let me start with the EduQuest Camp stuff.

This camp was formerly known as EduCamp, and usually done at Rajah Court Kuching. However, for batch 2010, the camp was done at Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS). It ran for 2 days.

The filtering process begins after applicants apply for Education Sponsorship Program at http://spmonline.petronas.com.my/index.php. Opening date is when SPM result is released and closing is 1 week after that.

For my year, i was informed 11 days before the camp that i was selected for the camp. First, they call you in the morning, congratulating you and saying that you can check your status online after 1pm. Then at 12.30pm i received an SMS stating the same thing. THEN at 1.30pm i received another SMS saying i can only check my status after 8pm.

Oh well, that sucks.

Information about what to bring and what to do are all shown at the website.

Its like any other camp, the only thing is it doesn't involve physical activities.

Day 1.

Mum drove me to UNIMAS and LOTS of applicants were jamming the place already. Upon reaching, i saw a few familiar faces. But i didn't? expect me to be the only one from SMK Stampin. I got 6A+ only and Petronas didn't select those 9A+ or 8A+ applicants? LOL ~~Petronas can really be racist, agree?~~

I saw Adrian (St Joseph), Erica (St Teresa), Rahman (Methodist Sibu), Uzair (dunno-wat-school), dunno-wat-name-tuition-chem-with-me-one (Green Road) and another-dunno-wat-name-tuition-chem-with-me-one (Green Road).

Back to topic, mum drop me down and we waited for the registration counter to open. After the counter open, we q up loh. but the facilitator so stupid one didn't tell us make one line only so we made two lines and they tell us to re-line up....

While waiting for my turn, Ten, Kenric and Rebecca show up. So till then, i got company liao.

After registration they hand us our room key and we went for the opening ceremony in the hall. After the ceremony parents are all back already. So we had lunch and went to our dorm to get change. I was in the same dorm with Ten and Kenric.

After lunch and changing, we went back to the exam hall to take our EPT, which is the English Proficiency Test or something like that. Its kinda like 1119 English, mostly comprehension questions.

Then it was CRT, Critical Reasoning Test. There's 2 papers. The first one includes random text and giving you 4 statements about the text, you just have to stat whether the statement is,

A, True
B, False
C, "Gua Beh Chai" or "like that susah loh, cannot say tiok or not tiok boh..."

Then we had dinner. After that we took our Mathematics and Science Test. Its SPM Form 5 Maths, Add Maths, Physics and Chemistry standard, which is not hard, but i kinda gave all my knowledge back to the teacher after SPM 2009.

After that we went to see our arrangement for the interview for the next day. My lucky number was A-02-02. I will be in group A (first group), Panel 02, Number 2.
Then we're allowed to head back to our dorm after supper. That's around 10.30pm. After that you want do whatever biarlah. Just don't act Anwar-Saiful with your friends enough lah. So don't go around asking your friends "Can I fuck you today?"

Day 2

Interview day. There's 2 interview section. One is individual interview, and the other is group discussion where the panel will observe the group discussion done in front of them. There's 2 Petronas "judge" in one Panel. There's 4 groups (A B C D), 7 Panels and 5 person in a panel.

First, they call everyone in Group 4 into the hall and sit together in a panel. I was in the same panel as Azri, Rebecca, Erica and Ho. They handed notes about drugs to us and asked us to silently write down our personal opinion about the notes to be suggested to the "judges". We're given around 30 minutes to write whatever cross our mind on pieces of blank paper provided. Don't bother copying down the notes given as you are allowed to bring the notes into the interview room.

After that, they will escort you into the interview hall where we will wait for our turn for the personal interview. I was second in line, let me describe briefly about my interview.

First, you walk into the room and shake hands with the "judges". Then they ask u to sit down. Then they will ask you to describe briefly about your family and academic stuffs for about 3-4 minutes. After that, they will ask about your co-curricular achievements and leadership stuff.

Then they will ask you to talk about the topic given before, which is DRUGS. So you talk talk talk talk talk. If 10 minutes is waaaaay over already, then they'll ask you to leave right away. Thats what i did. But if you talk less than 10 minutes, they'll shoot you with questions about that drug stuff.

Oh yah, i accidentally touch race-related stuff by referring to Africans as Negros. sorry sorry sorry sorry....

After your the whole panel finish the individual interview, they'll ask the whole panel to meet the "judge' again for the group discussion stuff. For this section, the panel sit in a semi-circle and talk to each other, being observed by the "judges". We're given 40 minutes to discuss and reach a conclusion about the earlier topic given, which is DRUGS. After reaching a conclusion, we're allowed to leave.

Then, HOME SWEET HOME!!!!

Okay guys/girls who wants to know more, you can always google up Petronas EduQuest Camp or just join forums like lowyat or anything related.

haha, another lame post from me. For my fellow readers who are expecting humour posts, please be patient coz these post are for blog traffics.

shhhhhh~~

That shitty Doctor Program WTF stuff.

2010-04-07T04:53:00.000-07:00

So, yea, i got selected to attend this shitty Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor joint organized by ~~Jaga Pelir Apek~~ Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam (JPA) and Sarawak General Hospital (SGH). Its a 5 days program aimed to give Medical Course applicants on JPA sponsorship for further studies overseas on how does a doctor work and how "no life" a doctor is.

The program serves to encourage us, but it ended up discouraging us. I'll tell you bout it later.

For this program, you only need to bring a pen/pencil and a small notebook.
Can bring bag also la, if you got kotex kah, big wallet kah, Chihuahua kah or whatever you want put inside.

Then you better wear formal one la, coz that day Day 1 i din't wear formal then tiok 'shot' by this puboh lady ~~Guynacologist~~ Gynaecologist. Again, i'll tell you about it later.

Okay, let me start off...

Day 1 / 22 March 2010,

We were supposed to report in early, at 9.00am in the morning. But everyone came DAMN early, you know la, want get scholarship mah, sure come early loh. So, almost everyone were at the meeting hall already by 8.45am. Then got this Person-In-Charge of Human Resources for the hospital come to the room and give us a briefing about what to do and what not to do.

To do,
- take notes
- ask ask and ask
- be a kepoh (orally, not physically)
- interact with groupmates
- talk cock with groupmates
- can talk cock with housemen or doctors too
- walk around like school One Day Trips
- eat at canteen
- wash hands ALL THE TIME
- follow instructions (DUH)

You-do-you-will-end-up-like-those-mortuary-people things,
- touch patients
- draw blood. Well, draw, as in ambik, not lukis.
- do surgery
- cut/chop/slice/screw/f*ck/slam patients up
- give medical advices to patients
- complain about the doctors
- run to hectic wards and operation theater
- sambut a baby from you-know-lah
- take free panadol for you mother
- use those morphine injections ohhhh yeaaaaahhhhh
- steal toilet tissue papers
- talk cock on the phone loudly
- sue the hospital if they kill you

Ok, after that briefing, all 77 of us got divided into groups of 10/11/12 person per group. and, no you can't choose your groupmates.

I'm damn lucky to get GREAT groupmates. We talk, we joke, and we share great moments.

The program for Day 1 for my group (group 2) is Specialist Clinic. We were supposed to go there and watch the specialists work. We were supposed to go to 5 dfferent specialists, i cant name them coz i forgot liao. hehehehe

So when run around the Specialist Clinic block and talked to a few housemen and doctors. There's this orthopedic houseman who brought us to the orthopedic ward. COOL! And there was this two housemen who talked to us damn nice and encourage us to do what we want.

Good SPM result= equal to Being a Doctor

WRONG.

1pm already so we went to the canteen to have our lunch. Damn, the hospital canteen food sucks and so expensive pulak. My food and drink cost RM8 altogether. The chicken meat not for human one, damn hard, go eat stone nicer lar.

And about the gynecologist i mentioned previously, actually the case is like that. I was wearing this folded long sleeve shirt and did not tug in my shirt, so i went into the clinic and showed the specialist my letter. Then she said, "Tug in your shirt. If you wanna be a doctor, you better start looking like one." Fuck, i don't wanna be a doctor, get it?

Day 1 ended around 4.30pm.

Day 2 / 23 March 2010,

On the second day, we went to Gynae ward ~~my favourite~~. For those noobs who don't know what is Gynecology, it's also known as Ehem-ehem ward. No, not coughing ward, the other Ehem-ehem ward.

There's nothing much at Gynae ward. Many housemen discourage us to be doctors there. It's kinda cool hearing them say that actually.

It ended early, so we went home early.

Day 3 / 24 March 2010,

That morning we gathered at the hall again, coz got briefing again. Then the officer-in-charge asked our opinion about this program. There was 3 participants who honestly poured out their feelings and complaint about the management. Complaints include "nurse aren't helpful", "waste of time waiting for our turn", "why cant we go through on-calls" and "only housemen, where's the doctors and consultants".

The officer-in-charge gave a GREAT explaination about it and everyone was satisfied.

So, my group then head to Orthopedic ward.

Got see tiok peepuh wit legs cut off loh, peepuh with ~~nipple~~ hands cut off loh, peepuh with ~~lanjiao~~
**this post is the lamest post i've written, so i put some Ah Lian english to spice it up**

Then my neighbour, Dr Ong, which is the Ortho Ward Specialist (Consultant) saw my group then he told us how he persevered against life as a houseman and how seniors scold them.

The best line was from a colleague of Dr Ong (forgot his name liao), "The good thing about being a doctor is, even if you don't pray, your account is not empty, you can still go to heaven."

At least that's what he believe. Not me.

finger cut off loh....

Day 4 / 25 March 2010,

Everyone came early at 7am to meet the consultant, except me and Rebecca coz i had a headache and Rebecca cant wake up early. LOL

After that we meet up at the Mortuary. YIPPEEE something interesting at last!

The mortuary very scary loh, can see mayat gantung by the neck here and there. Some can even wake up and greet you one loh.

HAHAHAAHAHA **cold**

No lah, the mortuary not scary la. We cannot see post mortem in process... but we got see the "bed" they clean and do the post mortem la. We also got see one ~~raped~~ wrapped dead body of a 80 years old woman. She was a psycho from Kota Sentosa.

The body will be "donated" to UNIMAS for research and teaching purposes.

I guess everyone likes to cut people up and sew them back. Maybe being a doctor is fun afterall. LOL

Day 5 / 26 March 2010,

Meet up like usual, then go to Accident and Emergency ward. This ward is fun. You get to see those people that cheat Death. One of the patient i saw got his thumb sawed to half by a wood-cutting machine. KICK-ASS!

It was BLOODY. DAMN IT, I WANNA BE A DOCTOR.

Then got there was photo of freak accidents like those with pieces of meat hanging from the limb and bone break that pops out of the skin.

Me and a few friends break into the Operation Theater then got this medical attendant stop us. She say if we want to see operation can, but have to wear shrubs. So we go look for shrubs, sadly cant find any. *weeps* So tak jadi join the surgeons cut people up. *weeps harder*

Then we finish this ward damn early, so we go to Labour Wad to witness birth. YIPPEEE!! Something interesting again!

We went in and stood outside the labour room where we can actually see the mother giving birth from where we stood. The mother so diam one, but the nurse and doctor all shouting.

"LAGI! GOOD! BUKAK, JANGAN TUTUP!!!"

Automatic our mouth also bukak.

We also witness a death of a newborn, it's kinda shocking and sad. One birth, two death(including the mortuary one) in a morning.

Then we walk to Saberkas Mall to have lunch at Hong Kong Noodles. After that, we walk back for the closing ceremony.

The program is great. I really had fun. You should attend too if you get a chance. For those who missed the chance, SO SAD WOH....

p/s, i don't wanna see any suicide case caused by my blog.

My aunt CRAPS better than me.

2010-03-31T04:13:00.000-07:00

After i got my SPM result, my aunt (Aunt Efong) keep sending me text messages just to say how much she wants a nephew as a doctor. So, here i'm going to expose to readers out there how crazy is she in trying to mentally-persuade me to be a doctor.

In total, i received FOUR 3 pages long text messages. I decided to post them up to my blog because i didn't read them properly so i guess if i post it up i can read it more "thoroughly".

WARNING!!!!
What you are about to read is SUPER BAD ENGLISH.
It can only be read by UNEDUCATED peoples.
~~Like You, My Readers~~

Also, I did not do ANY editing, both to the words, grammar,
capital/small alphabets and punctuation.
This is because these text messages are "perfect" the way they are.

SMS no 1.

"So good u hav done well. congratulation ! try apply for medicine or dentist course For sure u wil never regret if u get it!"

Okaaaaaay, this one is not as annoying but wanna see my reaction?

SMS no 2.

"Aunty really wish u bcome eye specialist one day! As boy be brave n hav better hope lah why wan loser to girls leh. Just see now so many small size female doctors. why they can do so u should hav more brave than them. Now is ur only chance to try ur luck to select better n more secure job ok. If can get it that is ur v very good luck bcos not everyone can get it even he wan or don wan! U just apply one of it. JUST CUBA BETTER THAN NOU!"

My reaction?

SMS no 3.

"Ah Ming listen to Aunty ok. U ar a good obedient n clever boy n should take tis very good opportunity to make it a great success n that will bring happiness to U n ur parents n sister n brother as well as aunty. U just go as others n be brave to face ok. DOn hav to wori bcos all ar natural in hospital see Alan wife as nurse also working in hospital . Like 2 Dr Kuehs also same n soon u wil see many of our relatives boys or girls mostly take Medic course. Aunty pray n hope v v much u CAN ok"

Again. My reaction?

SMS no 4 (the most irritating/MUST READ)

"Ah ming just go don wori ok. U know there wil be some judges they wil watch ur reactions n movements as marking. So u must act like HERO n show ur interest to know n learn everything i think many young girls also join tis in hospital so U be brave n show them u ar not a loser but a real HERO ok they(..)"

MY REACTION?

YES!!! Of my chest, AT LAST!!!
Yea yea yea, i know.

I'm a bad nephew.

EMO

2010-03-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

I feel so left out.

Blogging From Work...

2010-03-15T19:52:00.000-07:00

Yea i finally got sane enough to blog from work.

Ah Vui is attending a meeting at the main branch, that makes me alone at Lumix Station.

YEAH, ALONE. Face it Jimmy, you're left ALONE.

Now what?

I AM BOOOORRRIINNG!!!
PORN DOESN'T CURE!!!

LOL, i got these crazy idea of stalking the outlet computer.

I found photos taken during our Annual Dinner at Pullman's Hotel. All I did during the dinner was eat, watch football and drink beer (just found out i suck in drinking beer).

Everyone knows that I'm not the "social guy", so i end up being left alone and not introduced to any of my colleagues from other outlets. These photos i found show random shots that i found with me in them. There's actually over a hundred photo taken.

Well.......... at least i'm in SOME of them. I edited them to indicate my position.

Mr Chai giving his speech.

Here.
Yea yea yea. I was hungry.

HUNGER

That girl behind me 'chio' or not?
That my date lah...

LOL YOU BELIEVE SUCH CRAP?
~~but she really very chio hoh~~

okaaay, my back is facing you.

After hearing a few REAL LIFE ROMANCE stories from my colleague, i feel like finding my other half and finally change my "single" status on Facebook.

Patience Jim, it's just not your time yet.

My New Job

2010-02-26T00:32:00.000-08:00

FUUYOOOHH, 1 month and 12 days without blogging?
Seems like i left my blog stranded for quite a while. Sorry, i've been kinda busy.

Anyway, here goes.

Yeah i found a new job to keep me from getting too much unused time at home. Now i work near Pullman Hotel, selling my ass for 50 bucks per entry.

YEAH RIGHT!

Now, i'm working for Copal Digital Sdn Bhd, a range of digital stores where i previously waste lots of time trying out DSLRs that i can't afford to buy.

Copal Digital opened a new outlet at The Hills Shopping Mall, behind Pullman Hotel ~~where my butt is available 24/7~~, which deals with Panasonic products only. It's called Lumix Station. In fact, there are over 50 Lumix Station in Malaysia already. Since i applied for the job just a few days before the opening of the new outlet, Copal Digital management office placed me there.

Well, everyone knows that i'm an anti-Lumix and pro-Canon/Nikon guy, working with an "enemy" is really tough. And my outlet just happens to be the BIGGEST Lumix Station in Malaysia.

WOW, its like Anuar Ibrahim working for Najib.

My new work place is very very far away from my home. Work begins at 10am and ends at 10pm. During weekdays, i take two buses from my home to Saujana and from Saujana to Riverside, i then walk for 1 minute to reach my workplace. The second bus takes off at 8.20am and 10am, so everyday i either be late or very early.

My job includes playing with TV remotes, taking random pics with any semi-SLR or compact camera, using the 70 times zoom camcorder to see chio bu, posting comments on Facebook, posting crazy statuses on Facebook, stalking adult forums ~~my colleague do one i only accompany him~~, discussing with my colleague on which DSLR should i buy, watching funny Singaporean movies by Jack Neo over and over and over again, listening to great Chinese songs over and over and over again until even if you put a Bangla there he can sing the lyrics with no problem at all, Mafia Wars all day long, make bad stares at kong kam customers, hide myself then shout "YOU STARE FOR WHAT?" at customers who camwhore in the store.

My colleagues are great. We play Mafia Wars all day long if there's no customer and if my supervisor wasn't at the workplace. But if customer come sure lah we go entertain them a bit.

My supervisor is also great! If he is in the store with us, he will sure 'chia' us eat. He will also 'chia' us eat if he tiok 4D.

Here's a few shots from Lumix Station.

Main entrance.

LUMIX.

Me camwhoring.

The Magical Moving Staircase
or
Tangga Ajaib Yang Bergerak

If you beh ta han liao/lao sai/lao jio/ku hun you go this way.

This is the Photo Printing Station.
But some Chao Ah Lian just come there then click click click when
you ask them 'how may i help you' they say,
WE CURIOUS NIA MAH.

cibai la, if you curious go pullman hotel find someone
unlucky to cure you "curiousness' la.

The most expensive machine in the shop ~~rank 2 after my ass~~,
Pana ProCam AG-HPX172, which cost RM21000.
Storage media P2HD card cost RM3800 for 16GB.
Card reader cost RM1+++.
Those who own this must be blood-related to Taib Mahmud or Bill Gates.

Hellboy II The Golden Army is playing.
Some goddamn weird family of 5 came in and watched the movie from
the beginning till the end.
That's TWO STRAIGHT HOURS.

And they sat here while watching.
wah their face skin so nipis hoh?

BORED.

DOUBLE BORED.

TRIPLE BORED.

WHAT-COMES-AFTER-TRIPLE-LIAO BORED.

WHATEVER-LAR BORED.

Namecards.

HUH? NAMECARD?

YESH, NAMECARD!

Mafia Wars Table.

I can even spend time playing with Lumix G1 and GF1, at the same time brush my photography skill.

Lumix GF1, 20mm, f 1.4.

Lumix G1, 14-45mm, f3.5.

Till today, i encountered many macam of customer and seen lots of different style/culture of Kuching people. I'll give a few cases here.

Case1
Guy walks in, asked me, "You ada jual wireless camera kah?"
Me, "HUH?"
Guy, "Neh itu wireless punya ah..."
Me, "Camera sini semua wireless punya woh... you want macam Wi-Fi punya kah?"
Guy, "Ah betul!"

SIAO EH!
camera where got Wi-Fi? GO GET A PHONE WITH WI-FI LAH DUDE!
Like that the camera i sell not wireless lah? Got wire camera call what leh dude?
CCTV?

Case 2
Two couples walk into Toys 'R' Us and bought a can of drink. They asked for two straws and share the can of drink.

Another two couple walked into Lumix Station sharing ONE ice-cream cone that cost RM1.50.

NO PAPER IN YOUR WALLET DON'T PAK TOH LAH. ~~hey all the leng lui out there my wallet got a lot of paper~~

And hoh, they not scared of unhygienic way of life one woh. Share drink, share ice-cream. EEE yeh.

Long ago love birds used say to each other, YOU JUMP I JUMP.

Now is, YOU TIOK (AIDS/HEPATITS) I TIOK.

Case 3
A gang of Cibai Girls wearing skinnies walked to the Photo Printing Station a a corner of our store. WALAO my eyes open big big when i saw one of them holding a Nikon D90, 18-105mm kit.

Serve punya serve, then i took a closer look at the D90 they were using.

THEY MISUSED A DSLR! CAMWHORES!

Plus, i guessed right. All photo taken with that D90 where like shots taken with my VGA 2MP phone camera. Guess what mode did they set on the D90?

AUTO

Case 4
Gay dudes.
Two dudes came to the photo printing station, and printed a couple of photos of them both camwhoring. That nevermind, but hoh, they even edit it by putting hearts around the frame.

Eee YEH!

Let me show you an example (example nia lah i edit one not the real thing lah)...

Check out their faces!

Case 5
An Ang Moh came to the show. The DVD player was playing James Cameroon's Avatar. Then the Ang Moh asked me in a the Steve Irwin slang, "Is that show A Bad Tar?"

Yes, i know smoking is dangerous. But did James Cameron make a movie just to tell people that tar from cigarette smoke is harmful?

Will the movie turn out from this...

...to this?

Neytiri from the Na'vi Tribe must be SMOKIN hot.

Ohhhh that's not all. It's just that my finger starts to ache, so i'll write till here.

I promise to update ASAP about my SPM result! TEEHEE!

Goodbye KFC

2010-01-31T00:11:00.000-08:00

After 35 days of working with KFC, i quited my job. The reasons for me to quit my job are as follow...

-I'm sick of waking up so damn early and going back home so damn late.
-I'm sick of cheating people's money where they actually expect BEST of quality.
-I'm sick of getting bad stares from people who we actually smile with.
-I'm sick of midnight meeting and cleaning up.
-I'm sick of those D4 tablets which corrodes my skin and make me look better as an actor in Resident Evil.
-I'm sick of opening doors for people who don't even bother to smile.
-I'm sick of the low pay.
-I'm sick of Stampin, Chung Hua and Lodge kids who come into KFC just to change their cloth or make use of the sink and air-cond.
-I'm sick of mopping and sweeping the floor.
-I'm sick of meeting customers that i know and have to greet them.
-I'm sick of NO LONG HAIR AND FINGERNAIL rule.
-I'm sick of cleaning the toilet every 15 minutes.
-I'm sick of foreigner who order "Ziger Bogo" instead of "Zinger Burger".
-I'm sick of Hot & Spicy Chicken and Chicken Rice.
-I'm sick of cockroaches. Yes, cockroaches.
-I'm sick of the DAMN cold air-cond!
-I'm sick of uniforms.

Okay, that's enough reason why i quit. Now let me give reasons why i am half-hearted to quit...

1. Colleagues are GREAT!!! Bang Mas, Bang Zaidin, Bang Jose, Kak Piah, Bang Haidir, Kak Lydia, Kak Effa, Kak Juana, Yona, Hawa, Bang Azlan, Udin, Bang Mat, Azizan, Isaac, Liza, Haliq, Lucilia, Fida, Emparan, Alexaus, Dorena, Rozita, Wan, Malcolm, Ben and all the others that i didn't mention.
I REALLY MISS THEM. *sobs*

Wan, Lydia and Effa.

Effa and Rozita.

The muscular Emparan with Lydia.

Dorena (all the cooks are into her, lol)

No Effa, i'm cuter.

Udin in action.
Malcolm says he's the best cook in Sarawak.

Bang Mas getting sexy during General Cleaning.
He once shouted, "Anugerah Pelakon Wanita Lucah Terbaik...!"

"Bang kaki you berbulu lah!"

2. KFC gives fun courses with great Training Officer, Kak Christy.
My favorite joke she made, "Dalam booklet ini, macam-macam kamu boleh jumpa! Ada Superman, Colonel, CMS, BF pun ada!"BF tu Batman Forever lah!!"

And hah, during the "Customer Mania Management" course, Kak Christy asked us to draw a picture of a scenary which must contain a house, a river, mountain and a Sun. So i drew this...

Those are not boobs with cancer.
MOUNTAINS, my friend.

Okaaay, this is worse than the condition of SMK Stampin!

Mr and Mrs Smith.
~~Check out Brad Pitt with the pirate eye patch!~~

Sharks, whales and crocs at the same river.
What more can you ask for?

And Isaac drew this!

His house got air-cond one ah!

The Dead Guy with his Mercedes Benz.

A Flying Zinger Burger.
~~yeah right you believe this shit?~~

Osama Bin Laden with his 747.

3. There's lots of places where you can "ular" or "liak cua". It means places where you can rest without getting caught. Here's some example for those working with KFC. Listen to me, i'm the liak-cua pro.

Sit here.
Its hidden and there a mirror at the opposite direction
which can show you if someone is coming.

Or here. You can even use that dryer to heat up your hand if its too cold.
Ya ya, i know i look good in my uniform.

Or here. Just make sure it's not peak hour.
And make sure you boss is not upstairs.

Here also can mah.
So berkilat one, sit here the kids customer sure jealous.

Yo those retards out there who still cant get the point..

IT'S MY HAPPY DAY AND I'M GIVING FREE EXAMPLES!!!!

Sit like this lah...

or

Like this lah...

or

Sit like this got wrong meh?

or

Erm, this got a bit wrong la.

But nevermind.
Girls will think you're weird at first, then they'll worship you.

**btw, pics with me in the grey shirt were taken during General Cleaning**

4. Working with KFC entitles you for one meal per 6 hours work. The meal includes one rice and one chicken ( hot & spicy or OR). ~~when the manager din see you can curi nuggets, mash, cheese spread....~~

Here's some pics of me and Isaac during our meal.

In the office...
My plate of rice, mash(awarded by Masri) and H&S chicken.
My cup of Pepsi with Isaac's Revive Isotonic.
And Mat Nor's nasi lemak.

Isaac: "Lord, I offer this piece of chicken cook with 11 secret herbs and spice for You!"

No la,
actually he offer me his meal but just don't take a pic of him.

lol, in that small crowded office also can camwhore.

Kentucky Fried Chicken is good for your teeth.

Yea i was trying to open the safe.
Bang Mas stores condom in there, hmmm that could be useful.

I guess this will be in the papers.

Click the image for better understanding.

5. KFC awards their worker! Like me, i received a Star Card, which entitles me for 5 ChAMPS Points!

If i collect 450 CHAMPS Points, i can redeem a PSP! Not a Play-Sex-Pistol, but a real Playstation Portable!!!

This post is killing me.
Also, pray with me that i get the job with Copal Digital.

Gotta go, CHIAW!

The Chronicles of Abang Masri

2010-01-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Life with KFC have just improved recently. I fitted into the crew and made new friends. Everyday in KFC is filled with laughter and screaming of fellow crews after crazy and perverted jokes they make with each other.

However, Bang Masri stood ahead of everyone in making work less stressful. i certainly have no idea where he get all his jokes and crazy spoof that he can make a burial ceremony of a Barisan Nasional member be filled with laughter and joy.

Bang Masri is the 1st Assistant Restaurant Manager of KFC Premier 101. He is a great guy, but sadly only half of him is a guy. LOL, get it? He's a Katoey(google search it lah). Well, not really a katoey, but a Katoey without any surgery. Simple to say, a Kleinfelter case.

Chio Bu.
**wah i very high ah now!**

OMG thats loads of bullshit. Now let me skip to the important part of this post.

I'm about to tell my readers some joke that Bang Masri made. Some are heard with my own ears and some are told by Isaac. But, believe me, every damn thing you are about to read is TRUE.

Case 1, as told by Isaac.

Bang Masri complains loudly that all female worker at KFC Premier 101 don't have boobs. Then every female cashier pop out their chest and one of them rubs her boobs(as if there was any) against Bang Masri's arm.

Case 2, witnessed.

Bang Masri was doing this pose while writing something on the logbook and he was blocking the entrance towards the kitchen.

A college of mine slightly slap his ass just to make him aware that he was blocking. He stood up, making that noise wild boars make when they make love, and said, in English:

"Don't touch me like that, it makes me horny", then he licks his teeth while looking at me. Like this!

Eeewwwww!!! I would rather watch Miley Cyrus in a purple bikini!

Case 3, witnessed.

I was showing my palm to Bang Masri and telling him that i show symptoms of allergy towards the washing liquid used to wash dishes. Bang Masri took his car keys and asked me to follow him to his car. He took out his Alken Skin Lotion and told me to apply it to my hand. It was the type of lotion used to sanitize A H1N1 germ. I went: "Ini kan jenis untuk H1N1 tu?'

Bang Masri: "Tak laaa! Ni untuk tu..." he made a hollow circle with his thumb and pointing finger then put it at his pubic area and moving his hand backward and forward.

I'm a good boy, so i don't know what he mean. Someone please explain to me what the hell is he talking about? Actually, i don't know that this should be posted.

Case 4, witnessed.

I was having my meal in the office with another manager, Zaidin aka Bang Zaidin. Bang Zaidin was doing some paperwork with a huge file on his lap. We were squatting on the floor when Bang Masri rushed into the merely 1.5 meter square room. Bang Masri started to slap Bang Zaidin's head hardly just to get his attention.

Bang Zaidin got annoyed and took his file to hit Bang Masri's pubic area. He didn't hit it, maybe he missed because Bang Masri's ehem ehem is too small.

Bang Masri said, in English: "Don't touch my dick, SUCK it! Ah yeah yeah yeah!!!!" He was also moving his pelvic part backward and forward closely to Bang Zaidin's head. Then Bang Masri shouted: "I'M COMING!!!!!"

Then i said: "Aku tak nampak apa-apa."
Seriously, what was going on? I don't understand at all?!

Case 5, witnessed.

That day hor, got this two girls walk to the front door. Then they stop right in front of the door, i opened the door, preparing to greet them. Then, "MASRI ADA TAK?"

HOLY SHIT!!!!

GUYS VOICE!!!! WTF WTF WTF!!!! They were the same species with Bang Masri!!!
Then they come in talk talk talk ~~vagina~~ cock with Bang Masri...

After a while one of them head for the toilet upstairs, i was outside guarding the toilet during that moment. She/He went push the Girls Toilet but someone was inside, so she/he used the Gents Toilet!

WTF, i didn't know transvestite so nice hoh can use Gents Toilet when Girls Toilet can't be used!

That's me at the female teacher's toilet.
By the way, I'm not pondan.

Case 6, witnessed.

I was eating my meal in the office and i was sat next to the vault where all the $$ are kept. Bang Masri came in to open the vault with its combination. He asked me to turn away while he key in the code. I asked him, :" Apa dalam tok?". He said, : " Condom"

Then he show me a pack of unused purple Durex Rubber.

Case 7, witnessed.

That day we had this crazy meting which was wayyyy pass midnight and lots of staff didn't show up. Then Bang Masri got sick of waiting for late staffs, which were girls.

He stood up, said: "Mana ? Macam ini kah?"
He pointed his middle finger down and moving in back and forth with a freaky face expression.

Like this,

The Famous "O" Face.

or this

The "O" ~~Shrub~~ Bush Face

Case 8, witnessed.

Isaac hurt his hand and he asked Bang Masri for some first aid stuff. Bang Masri saw his small wound and said, : "Ehhh luka kecik saja! Luka perempuan lagi besar!"

Then he point to his crotch. LOL.

By the way, Bang Masri was in Sri Aman for the last 3 days. He'll be back tomorrow. It wasn't as much fun working when he's not in. Hehehehe.

Hair Hair Hair

2010-01-09T23:17:00.000-08:00

i'm sick of my hair, both colour and looks. I'm gonna change my hairstyle, will you help me? Here's a few images of how i would look like with different haircuts.

1.

2.

or

3.

hehe just joking la. But you can vote via commenting too if you want. I won't get my hair done like that lah.

By the way, i dyed my hair. Gordon warned me not to my hair because he say it will look bad. Guess what, i dye also leh. No i don't look bad, i just don't look much different. If previously i looked bad, that means i look bad now too. But at least not worse.

Here's how my hair look like now.

well, I have a few clear images, but it makes me look like i'm posing after a plastic surgery.

Okay, sorry for the short post. I just can't cope with my work schedule. Tomorrow will be my day off, i'll may post something bout my first driving lesson on the road and "The Chronicles Of Abang Masri".

CHIOW!

The Bitter and Sweet of Work Part II

2010-01-03T04:21:00.000-08:00

A continuation from Isaac's post about his experience of 1 week with Kentucky Fried Chicken...

Yeah, working with Kentucky Fried Chicken(KFC) is partly good and partly bad. However, people always tell me doing a job with low pay is better than wasting time with the computer.

Opppsss, wrong employer!!

For me, by referring to how low the pay is with KFC, i assume myself doing Kerja Amal, like those days where we do our Pendidikan Moral Project.

It's me during our Pendidikan Moral Kerja Amal
and
I found a deodorant at the recycle centre.

GREAT things happen during my working hours too. Let me start off explaining...

THE BITTERS...

1. Pay is low, work is hard.

Do i still need t explain what i do? Okay here goes in one breath...EVERYTHING except schedule planning, cooking, cashier work, and backing up stocks. Briefly, i clean up tables, arrange chairs and tables, wash dishes 2-3 times a day, get bad stares from customers, try to sell KFC Fun Zone tickets, change ketchup bottles, pass orders, punch my card, finish their drinks, open the door for customers, mop the floor, sweep the floor, mop the floor again, wipe the window, eat a piece of chicken per 6 hours of work, everything else that the PONDAN manager wants you to do, even if he say i want to molest you.

2. Jimmy's luck > Isaac's luck

First day of work ( last saturday), FULL day, which means i work for 10 FREAKIN HOURS! Third day, people from the management office come pick me up go to Stampark to carry boxes KFC Fun Zone boxes. Everyday, my shift is the same with Bang/Kak Mas, whatever you want to call him/her, and FYI, he arranges the shift schedule most of the time. I've done FOUR openings in ONE week, and Isaac did ONE opening in one week. I did TWO closing in once week, and Isaac did ONE closing in ONE week. Isaac doesn't have to come to the Kak Syafiah, Bang Zaidin and Bang Jose farewell meeting tonite at 12am, but Bang Jose wanted me to attend it. Luck don't leave me, please.

3. The rest of the crew don't speak Chinese.

Cashier: "Jimmy!!! Tolong ku lok, explain kat ia, Zinger-nya akan siap dlam 5 minit!"
Me: "Xiao Jie, ni de han bao bao hui zai wu fen zung yi nei wan chen. Qing ni zhuo sia lai den yi den(Miss, your burger will be ready in 5 minits, please have a seat while waiting."
Bang Mas(at the kitchen) :"Wo bu zi dao."
Bang Azlan :"Jimmy, camner nak cakap 'gila' dalam Mandarin?"
Me : "Siao!"
Everybody started scolding each other "Siao!!" from that moment onward.

4. Everybody's damn short, and all the shelves are damn high!

I know la, i'm not tall la, but i can reach to take those things on the high shelves mah.

5. One of my colleague is a scardie-cat.

Lucillia: "Jimmy, nanti u teman aku closing kat tingkat atas okay?"
Me: "Kenapa? Bawah busy la...."
Lucillia: "Aku penakut...."

6. SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!!!

Ewwwww, i don't want to mention who he/she is. He's the Kleinfelter case.

You can guess accurately if you follow my blog often. Below are examples of his gayness...

Eg 1
I went of through the backdoor and forgotten to close the door...
Bang M*s: "Jimmy(flirty voice....) Apasal tak tutup pintu? Nanti orang masuk la..."
Me :" Sorry la"
Bang Lan: "ya kena tutup. Nanti orang masuk ROGOL Bang M*s!!"
Bang Mas(lower his voice so Lan can't hear him, but i regretted that i can): "Rogol rogol la, seronok jugak kena rogol!"

Eg 2
Me and Isaac was clearing upstairs...
Bang M*s(touch the back of my hair): "Jimmy, rambut you panjang lah."
Me: "Iye ke..."
Bang M*s(mengejek): "Tak tak panjang, kalau saya dah tegur memang tak panjang. PANJANG-LAH!"

Eg 3
Closing hour. Radio was at it's highest volume. Bang M*s was singing along with a Malay song.
Song: ".........(crap).....Aku minta.....Ampun........oh ye ye..."
Bang M*s: "...........Aku minta........AMPUT........."
Then he starts laughing out loud. I was giving him a serious look.
Bang M*s: " Jimmy... You faham sik apa maksud 'Amput'?"

Jilaka u.
THE SWEETS...

1. Became famous for a lil while.

Some BB kids came and shouted, "eh Lance Corporal ah!" Then Ken*yeah right, Ken Ko* saw me welcoming customers and he took a photo of me! Yippeeeeeee.... i'm a superstar!!!

2. Listen to great jokes with colleagues of great sense of humour!

Yeah, especially Bang Lan and Bang Mas. They are great colleagues.

3. My managers.

Funny Manager 1
Kak Syafiah: " Jimmy apa nombor telefon mauk catat tok!"
Me: "Zero One Nine..."
Kak Syafiah writes: "019"
Me: "Eight Three Six..."
Kak Syafiah writes: "836"
Me: "Two Seven Two Zero."
Kak Syafiah writes: "7270."*wtf*
Me: " Bukan, Two Seven Two Zero!"
Kak Syafiah cancel off then writes: "7270"
Me: " Bukan bukan, Two Seven Two Zero!"
Kak Syafiah: "Betul lah tu." *Eff you ah betul ur head*
Me: "Sigh, Dua Tujuh Dua Kosong....."
Kak Syafiah: "Oh..."

Funny Manager 2
Bang Mas, any further explaination needed?

3. Observed different types of people from all walks of life.

Till today, i served Chinese from Mainland China, a Korean family, a whole lot of Negro students, Ah Beng and Ah Lian.
I also realized that all aHzx BeNgz have the same hairstyle and similar hair color. Like this.

And all aHzx BeNgz wear double color T-shirt and wear skinny jeans. Like this.

I guess Guardian ran out of other colors of hair dye.

aHx LiaNXz come to KFC dressing up fancy fancy with their Doreamon Bell, high-heels that makes their meatless butt shake and ring their Doreamon Bell. They talk sooo loud and want everybody to know that they're talking about their lAo gOngXx. Some pierce their nose like cows too.

aHx LiaNXz are fans of KFC too! Coz i don't really like the way they dress up, i just hold on to the handle of the door and expect them to push the door open by themselves. Hehehehe.
aHx LiaNXz that visit KFC only eat chicken meat, them don't consume the skin. Some aHx LiaNXz are so damn fat but they gobble up EVERYTHING. Some ah you cant even find bones on the table.
Last nite there was a gang of four of fat aHx LiaNXz and actually one of them is a Nan-Ren-Puo(girl that dress up like guy). They ate ate ate ate and leave one pice of uneaten chicken wing on a plate. Wah i tell you when i go clean the table soooo tempted to eat it ah u know. Not that i very hungry la, but you know la, i so nice, i mesti kesian those hungry people that don't even have proper meals mah...

As Kenwooi say, I'm a GOOD BOY!

4. CHIO BU-s!!!!

No, not aHx LiaNXz. Natural beauty, no make-up, no fancy hair, no mini pants that shows people your butt line. i just admire how they look.

wow, this post is so damn long.
i better be going. Wanna plan for another interesting post i'm planning!

Off To My First Blowjob

2009-12-27T03:39:00.000-08:00

Like a typical post-SPM student waiting for his/her result, i work. Not work out, but get a job and start earning my own pocket money. Dad gave me my last allowance as a student and i would have to earn my own pocket money for year 2010.

Sounds like 2012 to me.

After a few days of job hunt with Isaac, we made a few application in some franchise restaurants, namely...

Kentucky Fried Chicken

Pizza Junction, Jalan Song

and Magic Bites ( the following image is what i found when i googled image Magic Bites, actually Magic Bite is not a novel )

Magic Bites called me, but i gong gong didn't answer. Then KFC hired me and Isaac for RM2.50 per hour. It's kinda low for hard work but, you know lah, who else wanna hire two kids with NO working experience?

My job at KFC includes, erm, lets put it this way, i do EVERYTHING except schedule planning, cooking, cashier work, and backing up stocks. Briefly, i clean up tables, arrange chairs and tables, wash dishes 2-3 times a day, get bad stares from customers, try to sell KFC Fun Zone tickets ~~i sold one and my collaeges are like "WOW!", boy, i'm good~~, change ketchup bottles, pass orders, punch my card, finish their drinks, open the door for customers, mop the floor, sweep the floor, mop the floor again, wipe the window, eat a piece of chicken per 6 hours of work and everything else that the manager wants you to do.

By the way, did i mentioned that one of my manager is a Kleinfelter case? hehe, he is, near this.

Through out my two days of torturing work, i observed behaviors of different types of customers.

Clearly, there are types of customers, i would name them as following...

1. She-is-damn-healthy-yeah-right-i-can-tell-you-choose-your-cloth-from-the-children-section customer

These kinds of customers are usually Ah Lians, but their English are better than Singaporean Ah Lians. They peel off the chicken skin before eating the chicken. Their boyfriend makes sure you don't stare a t them while they do this. So, these lAo gOngzz give you a bloodshot stare all the time.

2. Hey-look-there's-a-sink/toiet-i-can-use-to-save-20sen customer

I open the door for them with a big smile and saying "Hello welcome to KFC!" then they malu-malu walk to the sink/toilet after they use they walk back to the streets without saying anything.

3. Can-be-in-KFC-very-high-class-oh customer

They bring a whole gang of people(6-12) but only half of them order and they only order small items or drinks. I don't blame them la since i use to do that too LOL.

4. Mr-i-can't-read-time customer

They come in although its already closing hour and eat slow slow sambil talk about DotA.

5. i-can't-lah-tomorrow-not-in-kuching customer

Aiyoh, i try to sell u the tickets, you can't go/don't want go, tell lah. Don't say "sorry ah i won't be in Kuching tomorrow." ~~Maybe it's true but what i care?~~

6. Hehehe-the-ketchup-is-free customer

They let their kids play with the ketchup and even let them pour them on the tray. Damn.

I wanna go bath liao. I think my blog will be less frequently updated. But nevermind lah, since Sylvia is promoting my blog for me. Less updated traffic still maintains.

Bye!

What If he is a blogger?

2009-12-14T22:55:00.000-08:00

I was thinking, what if "insert name here" is a blogger, what would the blog be about?

Let me show you a few example...

1. If Alex is a blogger, he would blog about endangered animals. For example, PANDAs. Like this one.

Believe me, the photo was taken in a wildlife centre.

2. If Tzun Ming is a blogger, he would blog whole day bout Taib Mahmud and Anwar Ibrahim...
About how "he" extended his arse.... lalalalal...

Got this from http://sloone.wordpress.com/
And Kennysia.com

3. If Ong is a blogger, he would blog about DotA and how he kill everyone in the match with no items. ~~Coz he use map hack.~~

4. If Gordon is a blogger, he would talk about rasicm and how to be a communist! He would also scold all Lakia. Also, he would do freaky breakdance moves that even Hong 10 and Physicx cant do, like this...

5. If Lai is a blogger, he would blog bout , who would that be? *no offense*

6. If JWC, if JWC is a blogger, he would blog about his buffness and photography skills, both on the same time. Like this...

HEHE, girls stop getting horny!

6. If Isaac is a blogger, he would blog about NARUTO~!!! Damn i'm a genius.

7. If Gabby is a blogger, he would blog about Bahasa Cina, Bahasa Melayu, English language, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Pendidikan Moral, bla bla bla....

and finally, i blog about...

SPM IS OVER!!!!

2009-12-08T03:49:00.000-08:00

WOOOOOOHHHHHH, my SPM examination is officially over! Which means...

11 years of public school is over and life must go on.

Let me do a check list of major things i've done in school so far...

1. Form 3...

Got into discipline case where i stole 1 512mb RAM from the school PC lab.

I didn't actually steal it, i just wanted to try it out on my PC. Sadly, i went to confess to the teacher-in-charge along with Eric. Stupid, am i?

2. Form 4...

Got shouted by my Bio teacher. This is the first time i was humiliated like that. Damn her. To know what happened, read the following conversation...

C*bai teacher(moody, after menstrual maybe) : Finish this and then can go home.
Me : But we still have to...(cuts in)
C*bai teacher( shouts): YOU STILL WANT TO BARGAIN!?

My bio teacher seem to have a grudge on me after that. The other day before she distributed our Mock SPM, she memtioned that our mock questions leaked. Then i got 40/50 for Paper 1, she stared at me like i shouldn't have got 40/50. SHIT.

3. Form 5...

Got shouted at for the second time. This time, i can blame Dickson. Coz he whispered to me and Mdm Chong Li San caught him. She shouted " DICKSON! JIMMY!". I makes me laugh now.

4. Also in Form 4 and Form 5, you'll start asking "how many passes you got ah?" instead of "how many A you got ah?" like those days in Form 1, 2 and 3.

So, i kinda screwed my Form 4 and Form 5 life. I re-made friends from my primary school and i also made new friend which are foreign to me before although we were school mates form a long time.

For the pass two years, i made new hobbies, namely breakdancing,
photography,

A sample of my work that i wanted to compose into a HDR image. The HDR is 20.1MB. therefore i cant upload it. Sorry.

body building
and music making

...

I also quit my long time hobbies with fish keeping, aquaculture and aquascaping. Maybe i'll re-venture into fish breeding and wild bettas.

Lets just hope that my life after SPM will be much better than before!

STALKER GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-03T23:29:00.000-08:00

That is one lesson i learned.

Boys, don't be a cam-whore ( link), or else you'll be stalked by a psycho.

Those who read my sis's blog, you may have been to these posts Link 1 and Link 2.

Check it out before you read further.

By the way, it's about this stalker who was, is , and will be stalking me. Damn it's hard to explain, so just go read the freakin' post.

Here's another prove that I not just paranoid...

Remember i installed feedjit at the lower bottom part of my blog?

Its purpose is to inform me how people are linked to my blog.

Few days ago, i was checking it out. Then i found this.

May be it's kinda blur, you can click THIS LINK to see it clearly...

someone actually googled "jimmy ratan"!!!

WTF!!!!!

Lai lai lai, come earn money without spending energy!!

2009-11-26T23:52:00.000-08:00

Mari mari mari...
Come earn some money like i did. I've earned USD8, which is RM27.20 ringgit!!
Imagine how many glasses of Teh C Peng i can buy for you!!

To earn up to USD100,
1. Click on "Paypal WishList" shown below
2. Submit your email to the top left of the page.
3. Promote and share your wishlist and lastly...
4. EARN LIKE HELL!!!!!!!

Here's how you can earn USD 100, by just making an account and doing crappy stuff.

Click to find out more!

LINK TO EARN MONEY LIKE A DRUG LORD.

Why get your hands dirty with drug?

Earn easier by doing what i tell you!

Few more steps then you'll be driving a Lampa-ghini!

Lai lai lai, come earn money without spending energy!!

2009-11-25T08:46:00.000-08:00

Mari mari mari...
Come earn some money like i did. I've earned USD8, which is RM27.20 ringgit!!
Imagine how many glasses of Teh C Peng i can buy for you!!

To earn up to USD100,
1. Click on "Paypal WishList" shown below
2. Submit your email to the top left of the page.
3. Promote and share your wishlist and lastly...
4. EARN LIKE HELL!!!!!!!

Pre-SPM post

2009-11-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

This is my last post before SPM begins.

Therefore, i officially announce that..

my journey for my Canon EOS 500D sponsorship starts tomorrow.
Right now in front of the computer, i wonder if all those promises i made to myself is logical and possible to be fulfilled. Oh Lord, give me strength to fight my under-estimation.

What if I don't make it? What if I can't give my dad 10As?

Nevermind that, what is important is,

I WILL GIVE MY BEST TOMORROW.

First time cam-whoring

2009-11-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

i know, i know.

"Jimmy? Cam-whoring? WTF?"

"He can't do cam-whore poses!"

I finally learn that if i'm still so affraid of being in front of lenses, i'll go NO WHERE. Plus the present boredom of studying Sejarah and all those freaky khalifah, i tried out a few cam-whore poses.

Guess what,

I ~~MENYEDUT~~ SUCK IN CAM-WHORING!

Sorry i don't do kawaii poses. I only do funny cam-whore poses coz I'M A GUY, and I'M NOT GAY.

Here's the prototype.

I call this, the Left 4 Dead Zombie "Feed Me" pose.

This is what happens when you read too much about ~~other religion~~ Kerajaan Islam.

hehe, i know. Epic FAIL.

All these photos sure makes you wanna punch me right?
Here's a once in a lifetime opportunity to PUNCH the comment button and comment!

Shit, i didn't ask you to punch that hard!

Thanks anyway!

Back to Sejarah.

Babai!!

Selangor SPM Trial Paper

2009-11-13T08:23:00.000-08:00

Mdm Jee gave us this Selangor SPM Trial Paper to do as a last preparation for SPM. Guess what, it turned out to be something hilarious.

There's some SERIOUS mistake with the answers. Can't really blame them. But here's a "typo" that i will remember for the rest of my life.

Read the sentence. Pay attention to the crossed word. I did not cross out the word by myself.

I repeat, I DID NOT CROSS OUT THE WORD.

Here's the word.
Do you need any explanation on what "SEMEN" means? Ask your Bio teacher, or any pervert, like, Kenny Sia.

By the way, according to Urban Dictionary...

"Semen" is defined as...

~~oh now i get it, it's about a sperm bank~~

Oh Selangor teachers, why do you show your "horny-ness" in this way....

Nevermind.

Let me remind you,

THERE WILL BE NO CORRECTION DURING THE REAL SPM ALTHOUGH THERE'S AN ERROR.

So, how are you going to answer if they ask this question in SPM and there's no correction?

They are not referring to sperm banks you know, so i'll show you some model answers to follow.

Variation 1.
Variation 2

Variation 3

Comments and hater critics please!

My First Racist Joke

2009-11-09T07:27:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday, my mom was eating porridge that my dad cooked in front of the television, watching news at the same time. My dad is not the "best cook" so he hangus-ed some pomfret meat. So, it's leaving so black-black stuff in the porridge.

Then, there was this Indian guy on TV reporting the news.

Mummy : "What is this black black thing (referring to the porridge)?"

Me : "It's Indian."

LoL.

What The Fuck?

2009-10-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

So now it's my freakin' fault?

Guess what, it is.

And i'm glad i made it your burden.

May God bless you all. Yeah bless me too.

Oh yeah i'm pissed.

Buku Muka

2009-10-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

i made a facebook account.

I'm still sucking at it.

And i'm starting to hate it.

Coz it made me date an African.

The Wishlist Evolution

2009-10-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this post since last week.

I just wanna share my experience as a person who don't always get what i want. I remembered my wishlist kept changing and changing like President Sukarno of Indonesia changes wives.

Let me start off,

Primary school ages...

Primary 5, i wanted a Playstation One so badly I saved money coz my dad doesn't want to sponsor me.

Then I bought my Playstation One after UPSR in Kuala Lumpur. That was when Playstation Two was launched and Plasystation One price dropped incrediblely. This time dad sponsored me. It costed Rm400 and the year before it costed RM600. Let me show a pic of the condition of my PS1 now.

Ok ok, i'm a good owner.

At least it's not dusty. And it's still working perfectly. The last time i played was 3 years ago, during my circumsision resting period.

Interested in buying it? Drop me a comment.
Ok, it's a joke.

Now, my wishlist evoluted and in my early secondary school (Form 1) years i wished for a handphone. I got my first phone at Form 3, a Motorola C650. I bought it from my sis, and it was REALLY cheap. If i'm not mistaken, it's Rm20.

My sis bought it for RM400.

She sold it for a low price coz the analog is already faulty and it annoys her. She bought another Sony Ericson phone which was stolen a few days after she bought it. Then she bought a Sony Ericson W700, which is the one my bro is using now.

Form 4, i changed my phone after 'a BB officer' spoiled my phone. My mom bought a Nokia 6600 for me.
I know, it's big and bulky. But it have everything i need. Bluetooth, external memory, bla bla bla.
It was RM200 nia... what do you expect?

At the same time, i wanted a camera. By then i didn't want a DSLR, just a normal compact camera will do. April last year my dad bought a Canon Power Shot A550 from Penang and put it under my care. In other words, it's mine (i think).

Yeap, it's a great camera. I can even control shutter speed, like a DSLR. The only problem is it has slow shutter, but it doesn't have fast shutter setting. After "combo-ing" with my dad's old Minolta SLR Flash, i discovered some hidden potential of my A550.

Then Form 5 i wanted a beanie or a helmet, like those for breaking and headspinning.
But instead, i bought a normal beanie without a headspin pad. So now, i can only do a headglide or a normal headstand. I also found an old helmet ( donno whose ) in my dad's storeroom. i'm trying out headspins on it.

Yeap, that's my UNISEX Beanie. It's UNISEX!

And it's BILLABONG, not any kapcai or cap ayam beanie you get from Satok Sunday Market.

Now, i wish i can get straight As for SPM. Then i'll get a Canon EOS 500D!!!

Deeply, everyday i wish the best for a person, which is indeed very special to me.

Good joke, Streamyx

2009-10-11T18:37:00.001-07:00

I saw this nuffnang advert just moments ago. It's about Streamyx giving tips for those who can't connect to the internet.

Thinking logically, if you can't connect to the internet, can you see this advert?

I don't think so.

Enough said. Chiow!

The Ultimate Spelling Teacher

2009-10-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

No no no, not Mdm Teo. Mdm Teo can't even pronounce stuff properly, even our "beloved" and "kaki cuti' pengetua also can't pronounce words properly.

Let me kick of with an example.

Tomorrow, you're going for the PPSMI Oral Test. And you've prepared your script, but there's one particular word that you can't spell. The word is "shitonyourass". It's not a jutsu from Naruto, so you can't look it out anywhere.

Then you visit http://kchwildkidbullshit.blogspot.com/

You see this post, and do exactly as it says.

You passed your Oral Test with a D. At least not E mah.

Therefore, i present you...

Microsoft Sam!!!

Some of you may have discovered this a long time ago and found substitutes for Sam. For those who are new like me, here's how to excess Microsoft Sam.

First, you go to Control Panel and click on "Speech".

You will see this pop out.

Sorry, wrong pic.

Again, you will see this pop out.

Then you can type in any crap you want and click on "Preview Voice" to see how the word is 'properly' pronounced.

Here's how i know how my name is properly pronounced.

It's Jim-mee Rap-Tan.

Oh... ok.

You can even try out words like Cib*i, L*njiao, Khaucellya, and even more!

I think i will make a rap recording of Microsoft Sam sometime next year, when i'm free.

Thanks anyway, Bill Gates.

Truth

2009-09-25T01:06:00.000-07:00

My blog starts to suck, right?

I'll prove it.

Argh!!!
A negative value!!!!

That means, my visitors are decreasing!!!
SPM really helped a lot...

Thank you Malaysia.

Now check out my visitor graph for this month.

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Behold The Smile Eraser!!!

2009-09-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

Jordan bought this funny eraser. It's designed in Korea, but made in China. It's called the "Smile Eraser". It's not any normal eraser, it erasers SMILE.

Everything cute smile, it's useless against the "smile eraser". Nothing in the world can possibly beat the smile eraser.

Next time, if you see anybody smiling and you hate the sight of it, take my advice. Use the smile eraser.

It works against anybody, even The Joker.

Yeap, he's always smiling. Guess what Batman did?

He said, "Alfred, i need a new Bat-Belt (wtf). Equip me with the famous Korean Smile Eraser"

Then after Lieutenant James Gordon caught Joker.....

See? It worked. Jordan didn't smile!

Korean...Korean...
Pretty girls and boys. Why did you design such stuff?

Speaking of Koreans, here's Dickson when he wear sleeveless T.

He says he looks Korean when he wears sleeveless. Here's Bboy Baek from Korea.

Yeah, you guys are twins!

Huh?

2009-08-27T21:37:00.001-07:00

I went through the ad about the Blog Award at Nuffnang and i tried to nominate my own blog in it.

Then i got freaked out when this popped out.

What the HELL? Somebody nominated my blog ALREADY?!

Thank YOU!!!!!!!

Pornographer's Photographer's Evening Out

2009-08-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

I went to this talk event last Wednesday at Old Court House just to accompany JWC. It's called "Photographer's Evening Out". Malaysia's top photographers took turns to give their opinion about life as photographers and they shared secrets about success in wedding photography industry.

Basically, there were 4 professional photographers on the event. All of them are among the Top 8 Photographers in Malaysia. They are Alvin Leong of Alvin Leong Photography, Jason Victor of Jason Victor Photography, Saiful Nang of Candid Syndrome and Brendan Goh of ~forgot liao~ Photography.

First thing up was Alvin's talk. Jason had his PC stand by and he was looking for Alvin's presentation folder to be shown to guest on the projection slide. Then Jason clicked a wrong folder. BANG A BAD FOLDER poop up

A folder filled with PORNO videos! Shit, Jason showed us porn. It was fast, but i managed to see a girl holding a guy's "disco stick". And the girl was blonde. LoL. A guy(guest) with a Nikon DSLR shouted "Ah.. BLUE!" then everybody laughed...

Then later Jason said, " Sorry i didn't know those kinda stuff are PRE-INSTALLED in with windows."

Ok, back to the talk. Here's Alvin.
He have a Olympus Pen-1 straped on him. I wonder why he didn't bring something like the Leica S2 that cost RM1/4 million or Canon EOS 1Ds Mark III that cost RM28k.

And here's Brendan Goh showing us his bodybuilder shots.

No, he's not gay.

And here's the MAN, Saiful Nang, 29 and making millions in the industry. He is now Royal Brunei Sultan Photographer.
According to him, he started with a borrowed Nikon D100 and RM90. Two years later he earned his first million. Speechless, professional.

Oh right. This photo is when Saiful took a shot of the guy grabing the girl's "ehem"
Someone asked him,"Why this?"
Saiful said, "Coz i do something i like, and i told them to do something they like!"
"and you can only do these when their parents are not around!"

And an unmentioned photographer, one of the only pro Alphanatics, Mr Jong Wee Ch'ng!

He's the guy trapped in the middle.
And he was directing me to hold his wireless flash.
"Left a bit! No, right a bit!"

By the way i found this pic at Allen Ang's blog.

Another reason for me being at the talk, is to get sakit hati.

How would you feel if you want a DSLR soooo muuuch and your surrounded by DSLR users?

"Dos and Donts in Exam" Part II

2009-08-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

Like Dickson, i, too survived a week of test. Not exam, but test.

I heard you lucky BL ppl don't have these crazy TEST like we do. Whatever.

Ok, now i'm going to post my respond to Dickson's opinion about EXAMS and TESTS.

1 . Choose the best and only the best answer, for subjectives, write the most LOGICAL answer only.

I have some of my fellow followers to demonstrate some answering techniques that guarantee an Ass.

My work. Logic, Practical, Heart Attack.
My Life Motto.

Another one. Lydia is so in love with me.
Jordan's work.

Girls : U piece of crap! Jordan wont write these kinda stuff!
Guys : Hehehe, that proves i'm better than Jordan!
Girls : NOOOOO!!!!!!

2. Don't masturbate before a exam, some ~~liquid~~ brain power may leak out.

Mr Lai. My Sex-Sifu. Jordan was also learning.

Girls : NOOOO!!!!
Guys : So that's his secret...

3. Stop day-dreaming about your Cicakman or Wonder Woman.

4. For maths, COUNT!

That's me at the back. But i'm not crying!

Dickie took the freakin class fund from me.

5. Essay? NO RACIAL STUFF!

That's all. Follow these, a Canon 500D for you!

Come on Babeh!

2009-08-22T00:01:00.001-07:00

Check this out a game about ME!!!

My record is 162433....

I'm not perasan, ok?

Happy Birthday, Bullshitter!

2009-08-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

My blog survived ONE YEAR of lameness!!!!

August 3rd- My blog celebrates it's 1 year anniversary.
This second, hit counter reads 3619(excluding the 2k++ visitors on my previous hit counter),

Nuffnang Malaysia acc reads RM32.95 earning,

Adverlets Malaysia reads Rm01.77 earning,

and

Innit blogger started to recognised my blog.

Over the past 12 months, my blog went to lots of downs, little ups. There's people commenting on how my blog lag, how controversial my blog sounds, how different they view the way i express my thoughts.

So, i would take this opportunity to say something nice about my haters.

Anti-Bullshiters, F*CK YOU.

If you're a guy, I'm not gay, but how i wish i am that i can just F*CK YOU.

To my supporters leh, i would want to take this opportunity to say.
I LOVE YOU. More than i love Ms World, more than i love D5000.

To Nuffnang, i want to say, I CAN'T BLOG WITHOUT YOU.
I really really adore you more than Nikon D5000. ~~coz you can sponsor me money for a D5000~~

A friend of mine said my blog's content are "puboh", a bad way to describe controversial. I'll continue to write "puboh" stuff.

By the way, i found a Happy Birthday photo that kinda describes me.

Yah yah yah, i'm adopted.

SO?

You have a problem with that?

2009-08-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Someone once said that when a black man becomes the president of United States, pigs will fly.

100 days after Barack Obama was made president, swine flu.

Sharon Robb,
Reader's Digest August 2009.

Edited by,
Jimmy aka Bullshitter,
kchwildkidbullshit.blogspot.com

Not a Sekia game

2009-07-31T00:35:00.000-07:00

okay, this game is called Hotel 626. I dare you to play it.

I mean, I DARE YOU TO.

Hotel 626 is a horror based game, mainly designed to test the fear of people. The furthest i managed to last is level 1. My bro reached level 3.

Let me know if you aren't frigthen out after Level 1. Here's a screenshot of loading screen for Level 1.

Your task is to take pictures with flash of a maid/nurse.

~~she's not nude, sadly~~

Here's the hot nurse you need to capture.

There's a catch, you'll have to use a BURUK compact camera to capture the photo of the hot nurse. Since the camera is soooo BURUK, you'll eventually see a BURUK face too.

So, i, ehem ehem, "edited" the gameplay and replaced the BURUK compact camera with a Nikon D5000 DSLR.

Here's the result...

I told you. The real hot nurse will only be shown if, and only if, you use a HIGH QUALITY camera.

I'll update as soon as i get to Level 2.

My Birthday?

2009-07-31T00:19:00.000-07:00

LoL, first i wanna thank these people....

1. My mum, for the TIRAMISU COFFEE CAKE ~~yeah guys get jealous~~

2. My sis, for the Poslaju-ed birthday card ~~she knows how to send cards, but she donno how to send t-shirt~~

3. Isaac, for the perverted birthday gift.

4. My dad, for finishing the birtday cake we share, but you took the bigger part...(by the way, daddy's birthday is 28th July, mine is 29th July)

5. Gordon, Ong, Jo, Yee Xuan, Cheng, Stanley. Dick, Isaac, Fook and Lai for the dinner.

6. My bro, for introducing Hotel 626.

Ok, actually....

for my birthday this year, i wished for a......

But, i got this from my dad..

Bachelor Dinner

2009-07-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

A group of friends of mine went out for dinner a HuiSing Hawker centre yesterday.

Our main objective was to celebrate my coming birthday. Yao Cheng drove there along with 6 person in the car.

The only shot i have is this pic of Lai and Dickson posing like models for Yao Cheng's ~~Nissan Skyline~~ Proton Saga.

Oh yeah they are HOT...

We had great conversations during dinner, most of them are inspired by Mr Lee of Sri Sarjana. We talked about The Rape of Nanking.

Then we went off to Boulevard for window shopping. Me and dickson went looking for leg weights. He instantly got interested with the 10lbs leg weight and targeted it. Loaded, he is.

Oh yeah, IZ gave me a Nami Figurine without undies as my birthday present.
Here's Nami.

And the weirdest thing is, he gave me back the perverted note, a figurine box and plastic bag i gave to him for his birthday. I plan to give it back next year for his birthday.

He left out the price, RM29.90. He even added a "1" in front of 29.90 to make it look like RM129.90. Crappy guy.

That's all. Chiow!

The Lion King

2009-07-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Since so many people requested for the download link....

I'm being a nice fella.

Here's it.

http://www.bestoldgames.net/eng/download.php

RMB!

Press F5 to save state and F8 to load state!!

A "sekia" game from history

2009-07-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

My bro downloaded Lion King Sega Emulator yesterday and i started getting addicted to it again. The last time i play was an original PC version, where you cant save states and continue the game although you spend all your "lives".

LoL

The last time i played this game was, like, i'm in Primary 3? Maybe. It's a very popular game. Now i'm stuck at Hakuna Matata level where Simba has to jump log to log in order to get to the top of a fountain.

No, i'm not childish.

IT'S PURE FUN!!!!

Here's Simba stalking a butterfly!

Here's Simba playing with a butterfly!

And i made Simba eat a Black Widow!

I just cant wait to reach adult Simba level!

Another weird verication code

2009-07-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

I was posting a comment on JWC's blog then i saw this.

See my correction?

Let me do another "better" correction.

Not All Digital Shop Suck

2009-07-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

A Nikon D5000. Every photography enthusiast's wet dream. I mean, you get all sweaty after waking up from a dream of robbing D5000 from Copal Digital. Just stop your dirty thinking, typical Malaysian!

Yeap, i went to Saberkas Shoppping Centre yesterday. Remember my previous post about Digital Shops in Kuching that don't allow people to test their new DSLR?
Ok, i take that back.

The Copal Digital branch at Saberkas allowed me to try out each and every DSLR they have. Even the new Olympus Pen-1, that great shop keeper just took it out and hand it to me. I didn't even ask for it. Oh yeah, my long waited Nikon D5000, i tried it.

Well, actually i didn't, my dad tried it. My dad told me he'll get me THE MASTERPIECE if only i scored 10As in SPM.

THIS....

IS.....

TORTURE!!!!!!

Against All Odds

2009-07-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

Few days ago Mdm Teo went to the chapter about "Against All Odds". She asked a simple question, "Class, who do you think is someone "against all odds"?"

Rebekah said, "Stephen Hawking!!"
Mdm Teo, "Why?'
Rebekah, "Coz he's suppose to be , like, dead. But now he's sitting on a wheelchair being someone big."

Then i said to IZ and Jordan, "Hey i know another guy, Taib Mahmud. He's suppose to be in jail!!!"

LoL, it inspired me to write this post. Here's a few event where people are doing things "against all odds".

1. Miss Universe. She should be married to me.

2. Jimmy Ratan. He should own a Nikon D5000.

3. Muhydin Yassin. He should not be experimenting on the citizen's education.

4. Najib. He should not be prime minister. ~~I should be.~~

5. My readers. They should be banned from reading such lame things.

LoL

2009-07-11T00:41:00.001-07:00

i was posting a comment on Dick's blog and went through those crappy see-if-you're-a-retard stuff.

It spells upeeppl. I guess it means You Pee on People.

LoL, it kinda reminds me of me, Jordan and Isaac's chat topic last Thursday.

Digital Shops in Kuching SUCKS

2009-07-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

I just wanna complain about the biggest digital camera retail in Kuching, Copal Digital.

ehem ehem, Mr CEO of Copal Digital, i suggest you just FIRE some of your promoter. They can act sooo god damn PUBOH!!!!!

Dah lah your selling price for some camera is sooooo much more expensive from other shops, you expect DSLR business to run well?

Last Saturday after the Mighty Minds Competition at tHe Spring, i went to Copal Digital to check out the new Nikon D5000
Promotion price last month was RM2999. Goddamn cheap. At least cheaper. After that it's RM3150.

LoL, can you see how a week changes my mood? By the way, when i said mood, i dont mean menstrual cycle.

Copal wont even let me try any other camera, including Sony Alpha 330.

I won't mind that much if the price hikes like that, but at least let me try it out. How can you sell some electronic stuff that you just cant let you customer try it out. I'm mentioning this for all camera shops around Kuching. Kodak Digital at Saberkas too, told me to "try" them online. GO TO HELL.

Maybe if i wanna "try" a camera online, i can print and fold it into a camera! Like this Sony Alpha 900!!What a good idea! PROFESSIONAL THINKING!!!
I'll name it Sonee Apa 900.1
I'm a GENIUS!!

Shit, i don't think i'll buy my DSLR in Kuching, maybe after SPM in KL.

SHIIIITTTTTTT

2009-07-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED MY WHOLE FOLDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M ACTUALLY TURNING INTO A DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW I LOST ALL MY FILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Offically Annouce This Blog a Controversial Blog

2009-06-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

This Great Guy

2009-06-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

There's a guy, kinda racist, uses the connection with IP 124.82.104.4.

I think he's a huge fan of Michael Jackson. Why do i post this kinda crap? Because this guy said i posted insults of Michael Jackson to make people see my blog. LoL

Also, he called me a Lakia. *cry* you're the first to call me a lakia online.

I'm gay? Why? If your girlfriend don't blow you enough, i'll be more than happy to come to your house with a cucumber. Just prepare some lubricant, ok?

Yeah, it's true. i'm not gonna say "sorry". But i'm gonna be thankful that someone openly criticise it. Jee, thanks. And if i have the chance, i'll send something to your home. Maybe an album of the King of Pop.

This is your address, right?

Correct me if it's not.

Michael's DEAD!!!!!

2009-06-27T23:09:00.000-07:00

No worries kids, he's dead.

Last friday, The King of Pop died. After decades of legacy, he left hi controversial life. He got rich, got broke, got white, got a few new nose and face, got 2 kids which were never shown to public and two ex-wives.

And i suppose he will have two coffins...

One for himself

The other for his nose.

Yeah, he left us with a great entertainment. We get very entertained reading articles of Michael Jackson. Agreed?

I remember an article in Reader's Digest humour section about freaky stuffs like aliens and they said Michael was as freaky. So so so true.

I guess that's all. Chiow and miss me! Oh yah i made a gif too.

The Gay Test

2009-06-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

I just went through IZ's blog and found out about this gay "Gay Test".

Well, i took the test.

Apparently, i'm not gay. So, those leng lui out there, save your tears.

Ok ok, i did some changes. But at least 23% is better than 100% (dicky's bro).

Suggestions pls

2009-06-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

I need your suggestions on how to save up money.

That would be more than enough.

I'm currently facing financial problems and i wish YOU can give me some advice.

Please click this link to start suggesting.

My grandpa

2009-06-12T23:06:00.000-07:00

My grandpa is the BIGGEST guy in Kampung Pueh history. He was Ketua Kampung, Pemanca, Ketua Masyarakat Selako, Renjer, a great father, a perfect grandfather and a great grandfather.

There's even a monumen in front of the Long House with his name, Mina Kalum, carved on in.

His achievements include

1. The longest serving Ketua Kampung / Penghulu of Kampung Pueh, and no doubt the best.

2. Raised 6 childen,
-1st son, an ADUN ( Ahli Dewan Undangan Negeri ), YB Ranum Mina
-2nd son, ex-silk farm manager and the future Ketua Kampung ( i heard) , Ramil Mina
-1st daughter, small businesswoman
-Late 3rd son, medical attendant
-2nd daughter, my maternal mother, educater, Raan Mina
-4th son, my foster father, Ratan Mina

3. Spend a night at the police station, because he defended Selako's right of land clearing.

4. Resurrected a Selako culture long ago buried, the Narangkh. A tradision of "mass" visiting around the village over a HUGE distance.

5. Became a Pemanca through support of the villagers.

My grandpa never had the chance to receive any formal education. He went through World War II and even traded with Japanese soldiers in the past. He traded rice with souvenirs and kept them. Now they are antiques and still hanging around in the Long House. Don't believe me? Go check it out Rumah Panjang Bantang, Kampung Pueh.

Like i said, he never receive formal education, but he can READ. I don't know where he learn to read, but it must be hard. I believe, if he had formal education during his younger days, he could be a politican, maybe the Chief Minister. IF.

Mark my words, i'm gonna be as successful.

"Lakia" Jokes

2009-06-12T22:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, i'm kinda confused about my own race. Not that this post is about racism or what, but i really dont know what to call myself.

My friends in school ( mostly Chinese) call me a "Lakia", which means Dayak, which means Sarawakian aborigines. Too some, it's considered racist to call a person like that. But i'm kinda proud of being called a "Lakia", just because it refers to my origin, my race, me.

Oh yah, i googled "Lakia" and i found out "Lakiya" is a district in Israel.

However, my fellow vilagers back at Kampung Pueh, Sematan call me a "Sobat", a term they use to describe Chinese.

LoL

What am i?

Let me tell you a few jokes about Lakia told by Isaac and Gordon.

"You cant buy your own ah? Lakia memang no money mah..."

"You see what do Lakia do? Aiyoh really uncivilised..."

"Your result so bad ah? Nvm, goverment will help you..."

"You see ah, only Lakia will do this kind of stuff..."

LoL, this post sounds racist...

The Sucker

2009-05-29T03:07:00.000-07:00

The sucker who "borrow" my money without telling me.

So kind of you not to tell me.

I won't forgive you.

I hope you happily burn in hell.

I hope everything will be fine with your parents.

I wish everyday you dream of Dickson's sis.

I hope you get a wive with Mahathir's face.

I will not kill you, but i certainly hope someone else does.

So i will just keep smilling here.

HEY, at least i tried!!!

FAIL!!!!

2009-05-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, Catwoman granny. You are much much much much HOTTER than Dicky's lil bro.

Let me show you some FAIL parody.

This guy must be so proud to be in my blog.

This guy's brother must be so goddamn proud.
"OMG, my brother is soooo ADORABLE!"

It is just me, or my lunch looks like a bunch of maggots?

Love of my life

2009-05-17T20:52:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, i found the ONE and ONLY love, of my life. Parkson Grand Superstore, the place. Went to the third floor, then i saw "her"... I asked her, "can i see it?", i'm pointing at her. "Yes of course"she said... She open it up, and took it out. I gazed hopefully at it. Then i grab it, i touch it with sensation. I felt MY WORLD. I took a video with "her".

OK stop getting dirty-minded.

I'm just talking bout the new Canon 500D T1i. Capable with Full HD video recording.

The price?

Lens kit, 18-55mm standard- RM3650
Body only- RM3150

What can i say? Let me tell you.

SHIT

Forearm Muscle

2009-05-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

i'm currently building my forearm muscles and i realized push-ups don't do much to it.

So yesterday i went to the new E-Mart Superstore to get anything helpful. Then i saw these magnificent stuffs.

The Hand GripBought at a low price of RM12.90 for a set of two. WORTH every cent of it.

Now, i have things to grip during long hours of waiting exams to finish, ~~coz i finish right after i get my test paper, just like Gordon~~!

And i hope someday i may grow into this.
Well, imagination are good for your mind.

YEAH BEBEH!!!

2009-05-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!

I'm officially announced a Nuffnang Glitterati member!!!!!

that means...

You readers out there can start banging your head on your laptop or computer table now, asking:

"Shit this must be crap, why cant i get GLITTERATI?"

Yah, you can start getting jealous now. Here's a link how Glitterati works.

False Alarm

2009-05-15T03:20:00.001-07:00

i came back to DotAing after 2 months and when i join a game suddenly i saw this.
Sry but, Mong Na plays DotA??? no offense, but this guy/girl is a leaver.

A racist video

2009-05-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

i went blog shopping a found this video. Shit this guy is so racist. although it is funny, i still think it's inappropriate to make this kind of video.

"Tambi" means brother in Tamil, what's so goddamn wrong with it?

Funny Pics

2009-05-12T09:41:00.000-07:00

I went through my folder and found a couple of funny pics. Then i think i should share them.

These are those caught trying to steal plastic chairs during Sport Day.
They were handed to Jabatan Etika Pelajar.Gordon, Lai and Dicky.OMG, see that nude guy!!! OMG it's Dickson!!!
Wendy, CW, Stan, Fook, Michael, me.
Nothing funny. Isaac please don't make that face.That's me adjusting my pants. I don't pose like Dicky's bro, do I?
Erm, accidentally snapped by an unknown person.
Wendy please don't kill me.OH SHIT, act cute?The Ultimate Act Cute Pose, by Gordon.

Dickie's Deed

2009-05-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

Recently Dickson edited SOMEONE's face...

Dunno who... but he's so damn "important". ISA is gonna get me.

He made "him" look like Gene Simmons from KISS, the rock band. Here an image to compare.

Here the real guy.And here the edited ~~politician~~ guy.

Told cha. Dickson is not a good guy. And he is not cute.

Funny chat

2009-05-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

i was really boring just now so i had a chat with SmarterChild on MSN.

SmarterChild is an A.I computer which will respond to things you say to him.

He can be contacted at smarterchild@hotmail.com

Here's some part of the conversation.

KchWildKid says:
hey what's up

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
You know, hanging out. You?

KchWildKid says:
nothing

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
No problem.

KchWildKid says:
You have problems?

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

KchWildKid says:
Retard

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Come on. You know better than to say things like that, it's rude.

KchWildKid says:
no it's not

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I don't understand this fully enough to say anything smart about it...

KchWildKid says:
stupid computer

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
OK. Be that way.

KchWildKid says:
yes

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Yes.

KchWildKid says:
stop copying me

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
Why should I stop?

KchWildKid says:
because i say so

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
So...

KchWildKid says:
so.... stop

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I can not be stopped.

KchWildKid says:
so u are invinsible?

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer.

KchWildKid says:
told ya

- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
I'm SmarterChild! >>> Shop Womens Footwear at ShoeMall.com! - The latest trends, best name brands, and free shipping on all orders. --> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?628SX4/1 (sponsorship)

That's all.
Shit the guy who made this stuff must be a pure retard.

Another .gif

2009-05-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yes i made another .gif image with pics randomly taken by random people whom i donno curi-curi use my camera then when i come back from canteen my memory card almost full.

gifninja.com Create custom animated gifs at gifninja.com!

fook i donno what u were doing but i did the gif anyways.

English essay

2009-04-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, time to learn to Spiak London.

Mdm Teo gave us an essay to be completed in TWO periods last Monday, titled "A Painful Lesson".

So, Isaac told me what to write about.

He suggested, "Never give your virginity to a person with MASSIVE cock"

Then, we started to get all sort of perverted idea.

Lastly i came out with this list of conclusions for the essay "A PAINFUL Lesson"

1. Don't have anal sex on your 1st night.
2. Don't think of porn during your circumcision. Otherwise you might get, um, CIRCUMCISED.
3. Don't forget Seven Eleven before "it". Nine months later you'll get what i mean.
4. Don't have oral sex with a HUNGRY woman. You might loss something.

Mom nag liao, so...

Chiow!

http://kchwildkidbullshit.blogspot.com/
relink me to my homepage.

Trial

2009-04-17T05:05:00.000-07:00

i created my first GIF file.

Hehe, dickie pls dont kektiok...

it's Dickson Wong Siong Ding from 5 Alpha, SMK DPHAG Stampin doing the 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 act cute pose.

Jordan yang ajar dulu...

Oh My

2009-04-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

I was doing the School Magazine individual pic cropping when suddenly i received a message with a link from Mr Alim, Ahmad Lokman. Right after i received the message, he signed out.

Maybe it's a virus, so i dont wan to click it.

but if it's not? Hehe, he is one horny guy.

That's all. Chiow!

My new favourite song

2009-04-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

The BM version is already SO SO SO GOOD. Then this BI one is just SOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GOOOOOOOOOD

Muscle Show preparation

2009-04-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, Dickie challenge me into a muscle building show next month. So, i was busy preparing since 1 month ago. Everything went fine, but i realised that my FAT are covering my muscle...

To "cure" this, i have to tone my body better and lose weight...

To tone up my body, i went "muscle stuff" shopping yesterday, guess what i bought...

A set of 5kg X 2 cement dumbbell!!!! Yeah!!!

Bought it a Robinson Way, Electra House. Since the Taukeh was my dad's best friend in secondary school YEARS ago, he gave a MASSIVE discount.

It even came with a manual. Hehe

It actually priced at RM59.90, but he sold it to me for RM42.00. Damn, that's much cheaper. I wanted a 6kg X 2, but i cant find it. Nvm loh...

Those metal removable type cost RM190. Of course if u bring my dad, it cost RM150. Hehe.

So, item number 2. Which i'm still aiming for. BODY TONER.

Saw at Guardian Pharmacy. Priced at RM187.00. Shit, i better save up for an DSLR first.

Lastly, i went home with my dumbbells...

So, i guess if it's a success, i will turn from

Mr Muscleless

ToMr Muscle!!!
~~yeah right keep dreaming~~

Chiow!

Cock Cork Week

2009-04-03T02:47:00.000-07:00

This week i heard lots of teacher talking ~~cock~~ about cork. When they pronounce "cork", they make it sound like cock.

First, let me start with Pn Ong ~~Zhi Yong~~ Joo Tin.

Pn Ong was demonstrating how a proper apparatus set-up should be.

Pn Ong: You all must draw the ~~cock~~ cork like this. Don't draw the ~~cock~~ cork in side the test tube. It should not be there. If it's inside, your ~~cock~~ cork will be stuck in it.

So, try to imagine. If u cant, try with the aid of these diagram.

This is the "CORK" i'm talking about.This is a TEST TUBE.

And this is the "CORK" stuck in the TEST TUBE...

Secondly, Mr Chong ( physic tuition, tel number 016-1234567 *i'm not receiving commission for promoting*) was explaining about the Maxwell Cork Screw Rule.

yeah, yeah. start laughing. I know it's funny. Do you need a diagram? Ok i'll do it anyway.

So, this is the "CORK".
This is a SCREW in the "CORK"...

i know. I'm dirty.

The Worst April's Fool Joke

2009-04-01T06:20:00.000-07:00

Pak Lah will be giving away his seat as UMNO chief and Prime Minister to Najib, and it's near to 1st April.

So...

Pak Lah will present the greatest April'sFool joke to Najib.

All stated of course is untrue. You believe it? Nevermind. You're not the only one.

When Pak Lah "officially" gives his seat to Najib, Pak Lah will go,

"Haha u just got prank! Why should i give my seat to u? You're history's greatest April FOOL!"

Can u sense the ANGER?

Oh yeah, ISA ( i'm sucking ass) sure is after me!

Hehe, just kidding guys. Just an update. Shhhh, dont tell anyone!

I Wish

2009-03-28T05:16:00.000-07:00

I wish,
everyday,
that i can hug u.

I wish,
every second,
that i'm beside u.

I dream,
every tick,
that i'm there for u.

so,

i wish

i'm as loaded as this asshole.
~~I'm a poet, believe me.~~